09.05.2020 Feature Article

Novel ways to get COVID-19

Novel ways to get COVID-19
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The news is full of news of Corona and even as more people get infected worldwide we can hope and pray with joy for mankind is winning the battle. Daily we are told how we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from getting infected but what of the other unlikely ways we can infect ourselves if we keep to a certain lifestyle?

These are 8 novel ways you can get yourself infected; I am no doctor but I have tried to add some unscientifically proven ways you should consider to prevent getting sick (some are too complex to understand even by myself) -

You can get infected with Corona by looking at a woman lustfully (lust may incite you to open a door for her and you'll just be a gentleman who gets sick for the door handle may have the virus sticking on).

You can get infected if the man walking before you spits and the wind carries the spittle directly into your mouth as you talk to your boss on phone (its a good time to wear a nose and mouth mask as uncomfortable as they are).

You can get infected if the virus is hidden in a spot on your phone that you couldn't reach with the sanitizer (unless you choose to make the phone drunk with acohol by dunking it in a bowl full of sanitizer unless you're one of those who lick their phones).

You can get infected with Convid 19 if the food seller after wiping the bottocks of her child doesn't wash her hands before serving you (most Ghanaians have the idea that children don't need to wear masks and so its probable that the child has the virus).

On the way to work you can be infected by drinking hot hausa kooko from a bowl that has just been rinsed in water (faith aside, if not for the health risk associated with acohol consumption common sense dictates that we start our day with a couple of tots as it makes us less productive)

You can be infected by the time you get home from work for you touched a bottocks (it's likely that the seat a colleague sat on was dusty and has dirtied her nice dress. As a good friend you may tell her & she'll ask you to brush it off and you'll with your hands whereby you pick up the virus - who washes hands after brushing a buttocks?)

Though a little acohol can prevent an infection much can get you infected (a little party with the boys can get you drunk and you'll wake up with a painted woman who will demand money for getting you infected as she didn't sanitize before meeting you).

You can get infected through combing your hair at night (who knows how many times you touched your hair during the day and what you touched it with - this could just be the time to finally see the barbar about that skin you've always never wanted to do).

You can infect yourself and those you love by wearing same cloths more than once (its time to wash those sweaty cloths as spraying them with perfume won't kill the virus you picked up the other day).

These are written just for fun and you should see it as such but you can still learn something from it as there is no smoke without a fire (in our days you can get smoke everywhere and never think fire - just something politicians tell us).

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