Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! For so did their fathers to the false prophets. Luke 6:26
Life is a journey of making a difference; the reason why we were born the way we are is that we need the way we are to achieve the purpose for our creation. In this sense, it is established that we are all different carrying unique features, features we can only boast of. We are all so different that we don’t carry the same ingredients that make us who we are and what we were meant to be.
We all have one head, two arms, two eyes, one mouth, ten toes and fingers, two ears, one sex unless we are affected by a disorder that may affect out physical composition, we were all fixed with the same genetic make-up. This is different when it comes to our personalities; we are all made up of a different mix of magic and we represent a variety of unique personalities.
This reality also establishes that our uniqueness causes us to see or view the world differently; the way you view the world is different from even how your parents may see the world. Unfortunately, most of us don’t realize this truth and those who have realized it are having a hard time accepting it. Generally, we are not brave enough to be ourselves and to accept others for who they are, this is why there are lots of conflicts in the world today.
With this clarification that we are all different, I want to also clarify that I’m not saying we should be alone. We all need someone, the basics of our existence dwells largely on human interaction that even if God wants to bless you, He will use a fellow human being. So our uniqueness only directs us to who we should have on our immediate team and also lead us away from those we may not need.
Spending time with the wrong people only feeds on our energy. In reality, we need more strength to deal with someone we don’t like, that even just seeing the person walk past us takes so much before we can hold ourselves together so we won’t fall; sometimes we just feel like vanishing or pray the earth will swallow the person so you won’t have to deal with him anymore. This is just walking past the person, so how about trying to have that energy on your team?
One important thing about life is that we cannot like everyone and there is no way everyone will like us and this is perfectly okay. Growing up, we were thought to be people-pleasers; our training automatically drives us to believe that what other people think of us matters. So we keep up with appearances and try to please everyone. Well, as children it worked very well, this is how we stayed out of trouble when we were young, and those who resent these teachings and try to do things their way are seen as rascals and we were constantly advised not to be in their company.
1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (KJV). As adults, we can testify that this is not working well for us so far, because trying to please people always comes back to hit us in the face. As we grow, our desires change, we start figuring out our passion and interest change and this will not go well with everyone, especially people who carry the negative vibes. Life is already hard, “eno bi so?” so adding the burden of pleasing everyone will either kill us or prevent us from reaching your full potentials. Imagine trying to be someone else for everyone. You have different versions of yourself made to please everyone. What happens to the real who? Why hide so everyone will love you?
I have an alternative we can decide to follow and lay down the unnecessary burden of playing the favourite person for everyone. This alternative has to do with figuring out who you are and building a team or family around that. The good news is that there are people who will want you for who you are, no strings attached and it takes less energy to be around people who will accept you for who you are.
The headaches, stomachaches, the depression, the sudden mood swings, the restlessness and confusion and tension can all go away when we know that we don’t need everyone but we need the right people.