Another Reason Why Young Ladies Should Protect Their Chastity

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With the aid of powerful antibiotics, the unbelievable promiscuity among young people that began with the late 1960s anti-Vietnam War cry, “Make Love and not War,” has persisted into the twenty-first century even defying the stigma associated with teenage motherhood, where most of the mothers are children unable to take care of themselves. Age-old sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like gonorrhoea and syphilis have been no deterrence.

And if the terrifying sight of dying victims of AIDS has not been able to limit the unbridled promiscuity, shouldn’t today’s more insidious and dangerous practice of men posting their bedroom antics on social media turn young ladies from premarital sex?

The recent pornographic posting in the social media emanating mostly from the tertiary institutions of West Africa, and Ghana in particular, have brought back memories of a personal experience many years ago. It was a conversation I overhead (more like eavesdropped on) all those years ago that scared the living daylight out of me that turned me completely off the male species. It was not until well into my late twenties before I could allow myself to be kissed by a man who eventually became a real soul-mate and life-long double.

It was during the latter stages of the long vacation before I entered Form Five. I was preparing for the General Certificate of Education “Ordinary Levels”. My cousin, who was preparing for his final year at the university, was visited by this friend—also entering his final year—from a nearby town with whom he exchanged visits during the holidays.

I was my cousin’s pet and usually ran errands for him, and also cooked for him whenever the adults were away. In return, he helped me with the pile of past questions in physics, mathematics and chemistry that I was practising in preparation for the impending mock examinations.

On this occasion, my cousin sent me to buy soft drinks for him and his visitor. As I returned from the shops and began cleaning glasses and coasters to serve them, I heard my cousin’s friend recounting his ‘conquests’ during the just ended term at the female hall of his university (name withheld). What aroused my curiosity were the really gross details of the description of his conquests: gory anatomical comparisons and all. I felt sick, and the gentleman who was facing the door as I entered my cousin’s room with the tray of glasses and soft drinks might have noticed the utter revulsion in my face. He did not say a word to me, not even “thank you”. I did not ask or ever say anything about it to my cousin, and never spoke to his friend again on his subsequent visits, apart from monosyllabic yes and no answers!

I remember thinking to myself, “If this is what happened to the women in the universities, someone who was supposed to love another human being describing them in such demeaning graphic detail, what was supposed to have been a private affair between two intelligent consenting adults, then I would have none of it!”

At the time, I had male friends and acquaintances from the boys’ schools in my school district, people with whom we travelled on the trains to and from school. Nothing serious, but I resolved there and then never to even reply to a letter from any boy. I maintained that resolve through Sixth Form, university and post-graduate school outside Ghana.

The insecurity of the male species
From the comments of lecturers, male students and other staff at the university during my undergraduate years, I came to the worrying conclusion that most men were immature, insecure and mentally weak. In all honesty, they struggled to hide those inadequacies by trying to take as many women to bed as they could. And I am still convinced today that most rapists even in marriage situations are in that sad category of the male species.

Most of those men essentially never grow up. They take their insecurities to the world outside the four walls of the university or higher education. They carry them to work and end up as the pot-bellied managers and senior officers who want to go to bed with young female applicants as a condition of employment. They are the ones who frustrate women at work, often making crude and unwanted passes, with suggestions of career progression.

Some even enter into Christian ministry as so-called pastors, bishops, evangelists, and the like. These are the types that strip women on beaches at midnight, to feed on their depraved fantasies, with the lies of ‘delivering’ such women. And yet, it remains inexplicable how loads of Ghanaian women, especially, fall for these charlatans.

Mary Magdalene was a prostitute who carried a multitude of evil spirits of lust. When she met Jesus, he had pity on her and drove those spirits out of her. She did not have to “sow a seed of faith” nor meet him after his preaching service. He did it in the plain view of everyone. Mary showed her gratitude by pouring very expensive oil on Jesus’ feet and wiping it with her precious hair.

On the contrary, it is such errant men who in politics have made Africa a laughing stock of the world. Just as they consider women as mere trophies to be won and used, these men see political office as personal prizes. They go around at election time promising heaven on earth, which they know they can never deliver. Once installed in office, state coffers become their personal tills. They simply loot them like there is no tomorrow. They steal with hands, mouth and feet! National positions become their personal fiefdoms. Even when they cannot bend to pick up a pen from the floor, they stick tenaciously to elected (more like stolen) positions; waiting for their children to grow and take over, or else their countries must burn to ashes.

Advice
All you young ladies out there deserve better than these grown up boys. My grandmother used to say that “Akatasia” in Mfantse means “akata do esie” (covered and hidden) for that very special person on that very special night. Keep it hidden for that special person. The shame of a real husband whose wife’s naked body gets exposed to outsiders is much greater than that of the woman. Wait for Mr Right. Remember that any man who wants you to send him photos of your nakedness means you no good. And any man who thinks the only way to demonstrate your love is to go to bed with him before he has said hello to your parents, is not worth your time. Just tell him to “shove his love where the African daylight does not reach!”

I shall return with my beaded gourd, God willing.
Naana Ekua Eyaaba has an overarching interest in the development of the African continent and Black issues in general. Having travelled extensively through Africa, the Black communities of the East Coast of the United States as well as London and Leeds (United Kingdom), she enjoys reading, and writes when she is irritated, and edits when she is calm. You can email her at [email protected] , or read her blog at https://naanaekuaeyaaba.wordpress.com/.