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13.07.2003 Feature Article

Virginity Adds Value To A Bride

By Press
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Georgina Asante, (Heritage) There are billions of women in this world, old enough to be married, but a man must choose only one: one that is suitable for him. That, in fact, is a difficult job. What makes it even more difficult is the fact that whatever choice you make, whether good or bad, you are supposed to live with her for the rest of your life. That is why we say "life partner". With this in mind, men are careful when choosing. At least the serious ones are. Consciously or unconsciously, there is always a yardstick by which this choice is made. Some of the criteria that make this yardstick include love, beauty, ability to prepare good meals, education etc. Recently, I discovered that one criterion that I thought had become obsolete, was still as strong as ever. A male friend put me in a very difficult position. He wanted me to help him make a final choice between two ladies. He had done the elimination and was left with only two ladies. He was really confused as to which one of them he should finally settle down with. They were both dark. They were both university graduates: They were both Christians and they were both slender with beautiful hair. These are qualities that he cherished and he got them in both ladies. From what he told me, he loved both of them at that point. We both decided that I should get close to each of them to find out more, so that based on the information I gather, he could make a final decision. We needed something that would separate the two ladies. I did a good investigative work. I’m not disclosing exactly how I gathered my information but at the end of it all I had something on both of them. I skillfully extracted information from them without giving them any cause to suspect that that was what I was doing. I however got more information sources other than they themselves. Interestingly, something happened, which made him choose before I had the chance of laying my findings before him. We were in the house of a friend who had just come back from his honeymoon. Because marriage was so much on his mind, my friend wanted to know how the honeymoon went. He even asked our married friend his happiest moment or what he referred to as the "highest point" of their honeymoon. Surprisingly, our friend did not hide anything from us. Perhaps it was because we were very close. He told us that the highest point for him was when he learnt that his wife was a virgin. My friend was shocked. I on the other hand was surprised that he found this revelation shocking. He never thought that a beautiful, fair university graduate could stay a virgin till marriage. It was news to him. In fact he did not think our friend deserved a virgin because he had been quite sexually adventurous in the past. He thought God must have a special liking for our friend to give him a virgin who is not a village girl for a wife. It was then that I realized that I had the answer for him. If he treasured virginity that much, then we did not have to worry again because one of the girls we were considering, was a virgin and the other was not.
As soon as we left my friend’s house, the first tip I gave him was the fact that one of the girls was a virgin. It was enough. The search was over. The virgin won. He did not want to hear anymore. He went ahead and married the virgin. What a weapon she had! My question is if men cherish virginity this much why don’t they allow women to remain so till they marry them? While you try to answer that, I want you to consider these. Women do all kinds of things to get husbands. Try virginity.
In fact there are more virgins out there than we care to admit and I am talking about women who are more than 25 years old and who are doing quite well in the society.
The "bad girls" have managed to convince everyone that it is difficult and impossible to abstain from sex till it is proper, safer and more enjoyable. It is very possible, especially if you are committed to it. If you respect yourself enough, if you love yourself enough you will find yourself making a decision to abstain.
When it comes to marriage, virgins have an edge over the others. Ask the men. I’m talking about men who are straight in their thinking. The right ones. If you want another reason to abstain think of AIDS!
I think it is time parents encouraged their children to make the decision to abstain. Making it a goal makes it easier to achieve. Go ahead, add value to yourself.


Press
Press, © 2003

The author has 117 publications published on Modern Ghana. Column Page: Press

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