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04.06.2020 Feature Article

Mama, I Am Now A Giant, But I Can’t Breathe

Mama, I Am Now A Giant, But I Can’t Breathe
LISTEN JUN 4, 2020

Ever since I was a child
I was only taught one message of survival
The only message of revival that applies to me
I was told the answer to the pain they cause lies in forgiveness
The words came from Baba Mandela
Forgiveness is more powerful than bitterness he said
For you can not fight fire with fire
Always be the bigger person
Two wrongs don't make a right

But the message of my survival only made me weak
They suffocated me because they knew I could never fight them back
The message only applies to me, not them
They fight me with fire, but I am not allowed to do that
They wrong me, but I am not allowed to wrong them back
They can't forgive me for the way I was made by my maker
But I have to forgive them for disagreeing with my creator

Whilst I work on being a better person
Their strength and power grows bigger and bigger
They have the power to take my breathe away
I lie there helpless and I cry out to them for mercy
Please I can't breathe
Please let me live
Physically unable to fight fire with fire
Forgiving even in my moment of death, I still say to them “please”
A word they have never deserved to come from my lips
Yet my forgiveness and calmness cannot save my life

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So I call out for my Mama
And say, but Mama, as you taught me even now I still comply
I do as I am told, for I am but a gentle giant
I have never fought them back with fire even though I could
So why have I never been the bigger person
They still label me a thug and barbaric
But they are the ones who are thugs and barbaric
Even as I lie here still, unable to breathe
My only reward for my calmness is death
Oh, Mama help me, I am now a giant but I can't breathe

The Genesis Of The Revelation

By Mary-Tamar was Jean

Originating at jeangasho.com

Jean Gasho
Jean Gasho, © 2020

If you haven't started a war, you are not a writer...Column: JeanGasho

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