Funny enough, the only school in which your certificate is handed to you before you even start yourexamination, amidst tests of temptations. Interestingly, it is a school you have the free will to copy or dab others, learn from their mistakes and yet still, certain things do go wrong.
Just like who you chose to be your study mate, same is for the choice of a life partner.
Each and everyone has their reason for going into marriage. It may be some specs in your partner, a course you believe your partner shall play an essential role or whatever ulterior motive there could be...
Celebrating my first year in this institution happily with my wife and son, I will like to share what makes marriage as a school the best forever...
I am of the humbly experience that the word TRUST plays an important role in marriage. It is not seriously needed anywhere else than in marriage. In the first place there has been commitment with a marriage covenant. There is nothing to hide. Lies destroy the spirit of sincerity in a spouse. I believe what is there to know has been dealt with in the courting process... Showing or having a cautious distrust of one, especially in marriage would not make your marriage grow stronger.
Husband and wife need to trust each other very much as they grow in the school of marriage.
Now, in the incidence of a partner expressing the quality of unwilling to work or use energy; idleness in marriage and even refusing to offer an invited hand to the other partner is a sign of conservation. In marriage, there are no excuses. There is no need to hide anything from your better half.
Yet again, some marriages have perished just because partners who were so much in love with each other had less regard for RESPECT!
Having a deep feeling of admiration for your partner, giving due regard for the feelings, wishes, or his rights and a particular aspect, point, or detail by way of respect is the easiest way to get your marriage concretely secured. You just have to sacrifice your ego. Unnecessary arguments on who has the best of cases or discussions, to some extent make your partner grow with some level of ego. Do away with your pride and respect each other. Nagging will never help.
In this school, there is no need to punish yourself nor your partner on whatever unpleasant experiences that might occur. Forgiveness should not be like how you force yourself to fart. In marriage, forgiveness is not optional, it is obligatorily mandatory.
One major cause of short-lived marriages is one or both spouses relating with or having more time with their parents than their partner. Spending less or little time with your spouse destroys the marital home.
Being too self-minded and childishly exposing the inadequacies of your spouse to your parents or siblings mars your marriage.
What is needed in marriage is encouragements. Wearing a sad face and being moody does not help build confidence in your partner. An uncontrolled or hot temperament makes marriages wavy.
What is necessary for the growth and progress of this everlasting Union is the ABILITY to UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. Not understanding your role and position in marriage as instituted by God kills marriage. Not being sensitive to the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of your spouse kills marriage.
“ Marry someone who is deeply interested in the Deen, because that is who your children will follow." -Mufti Ismail Menk.
Trust will be shaky.
Arguments would erupt
Tempers would rise
There would be moments of discouragement.
There would be times when you feel like screaming out LOUD to do away with your tribulations.
Times when you feel like crying!
Moments when you feel like giving up......
When you happen to find yourself in any of these situations in your marital home, be matured to talk about it the way best gossip partners would do and address it as astute minds.
IF THERE IS UNDERSTANDING, THERE WOULD NOT BE THE NEED FOR BRUSHES UNDER THE CARPET FOR THE SAKE OF PEACE.
UNDERSTANDING IS THE ULTIMATE KEY FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
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