The Darling Gay And The Bankrupt Arguments

"He is my best kid. He makes me a proud father. Can you imagine he is so focused that he doesn't deal with ladies even at his age? Sometimes, when I think God has abandoned me in so many circumstances, I just look at Akwesi and I get reminded how the Lord has been faithful to me. He is God's blessing for me and I couldn't have wished for a better son. He has just one friend, Kwabena. Kwabena is equally a good influence. He is as studious and serious like Akwesi. I don't like any of these guys that has made ladies their business around my son." Rev. Pastor Antwi proudly boasted of his son to madam Esi. Madam Esi was a neighbor whose daughter was almost of the same age as Pastor Antwi's son. She was worried why Pastor Antwi's son has aversion for ladies but she realised Antwi was rather proud of his son's dissociation from the opposite sex.

Pastor Antwi was a reverend minister in one of the celebrated churches in Ghana, a country that abhor gayism. He believes that gayism is against his faith and any leader that has soft spot for gays is a threat not only to his church, but the country at large. To him, the easiest way to ignite his anger is to accept that gays are humans and they deserve to be given respect.

Ghana is a secular society with very divergent perspective on morality but the larger Christian and Islamic population has drowned the opinion of the smaller groups. The Traditional African Religion also has wider worshippers but the Christian and Muslim faithfuls have been successful in infiltrating the notion that traditional worship is idol worship and such people are only candidates to hell though that was the religion of worship before the advent of Christianity from the Western world and the infiltration of Islam from the Arabs. Surprisingly however, a wider population of Christians and Muslims flit with the traditional religion in secret. It is common to hear people curse others through "Antoa", but it is rare to see traditional worshippers in such communities. As to who worships or believes in such gods is a known secret among a pretentious Christian and Muslim population. With such divergence of opinion on morality in a secular society, the country has been able to forge a moral convergence on gays and issues of gays.

On religiosity, the Christians believe that same-sex relationship is against their faith. It is common history that Christianity was brought from the western world. Though we had a religion then, we abandoned our religion and accepted Christianity whole heartily. Today, the western world is bringing us gayism and we say it is against our Christian faith. But who gave us the Christian faith?

A greater section of Ghanaians believe gayism is against their cultural beliefs. From google, "Culture is the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a particular people or society". Let's be frank, what is the Ghanaian culture? Is it the seasonal showcase of weirdos by the Asantehene that attract the Asanteman as tourist? Our ideas on religion have metamorphosised from deities to God and Allah in the Bible and in the Qur'an respectively. We prefer to be called "Grace" instead of "Adom". The new craze is that, people introduce English as the first language to their children. It is an open secret that the Ghanaian is a black British. So what culture are we talking about that makes us unique from the western world?

Do I support gayism? Nope. Then why am I writing this nonsense that seems to speak much for gayism than against it? It is simply because our arguments have been bankrupt, in fact, not compelling enough. Sometimes, the arguments that we put across for which reason we resist gays' rights make the western world see less of our intellect and more of our emotions. The gays in Ghana are not Americans or British. They are Ghanaians. They are the Pastors' and the ministers' sons. Yes, they are those darling kids of ours. Those very kids we consider good and morally upright. You might know much about your child's talent, but how many of us know about their sexuality? What is obvious and yet we don't want to accept is that, quite a sizeable number of the population are gays and lesbians. Don't ask me for evidence. The evidence is in the obviosity, but it is only seen by those with realistic lenses.

I don't support gayism not because it is culturally or religiously unacceptable, but because of the health risk associated with it. Homosexuals are reported to have a higher prevalence of HIV, rectal cancers and general ill health. But my headache is not being for or against homosexuals. In fact, being against homosexuals will not reduce nor stop homosexuality. Criminalising or decriminalising it will equally not increase or reduce the number of homosexuals. Our focus should be on how to reduce gayism in the Ghanaian society and how we can prevent our kids from being gays. If we say they should hang gays, it is you and I whose children will be hanged and not Theresa May or Donald Trump's child.

But before we can explore some ideas on how to prevent the canker, we need to know whether people are just born gays. From scientific research, there have not been enough evidence that people are born gays. In BBC reportage by Brandon Ambrosino on the topic, "I’m gay - but wasn't born this way", there was a self-confession of a gay that wasn't born a gay. This means that he became gay through interacting with his environment. There is enough evidence that people are forcing the world to come to a consensus that people are actually born gay. In the same BBC reportage in 1997, only 14% of Americans believed gayism was an inherent trait. Fast forward without any shred of scientific evidence, 50% now believe gayism is inherent. The rise had been by courtesy of advocacy. This therefore means that, there is more work by a certain group somewhere to make people appreciate and accept gays. That advocacy is gaining more strength. You can realise that it has been a norm for a certain group to tag people who challenge the "born this way narrative" on gays as homophobic and backward thinking. It is also a common consensus that gay "conversion therapy" should be rejected. These people aren't interested in you even identifying their problem not to talk of solving it. Back to my society Ghana, a friend gave the experience of his former girlfriend who was a lesbian. According to him, the friend said she was a lesbian not because she was not attracted to men, but because she was sexually active when she went to a single-sex female school. She became a lesbian just to satisfy her sexual urge. She got addicted to lesbianism and it became difficult for her to get orgasm through penetrative sex. The lady herself confessed that she was a lesbian back at SHS. My friend initially did not believe what he heard until her schoolmates confirmed same. This lady was a "church girl" and was even training catechumen for baptism in her church. This was how this lady was seen as a reverend, a good and morally upright person in the church. Yes, this reaffirms the fact that homosexuals are not those misfits we think of. They are our darling daughters and sons who we have no doubt about their morality.

My friend's girlfriend is enough attestation that our single-sex SHS system needs to be given a second look. Children's development don't hinge solely on academics. Most parents just send their wards to single-sex school because those schools are noted for good academic performance. If your ward is already sexually active, it won't be prudent for him/her to attend a single-sex school. Even the parents that are matured and disciplined, how many of them are able to abstain from sex for three months? How do you expect your already sexually active girl or boy around 15 years, to abstain for more than three months? The sad news is that, most parents don't even know whether their wards are sexually active at those early ages or not.

Also, there is one common thing of some ladies having "besties" in recent times. Trust me with Anas' evidence, most of these things go beyond just a lady friend. It is a camouflage. If you are a parent and you realise your daughter does not have guy friends and just has one single girl that seems to be so close to her, be suspicious. She might be a lesbian. The same happens with the guys too.

In another stretch, we allow the "good" boy cloak to get dirty. Some parents have sons as old as 20 and beyond, yet they have never seen or heard of their girlfriend. Instead of such parents to be worried, they rather praise such children for being good and focused and so they consider ladies as destructions. You don't need a Jerusalem prophet to tell you that a child at that age should feel a thing for women. That darling boy may be a gay.

Often times, what our children are exposed to, influence them a lot. If you buy laptops, phones or even the television for your 12 year old boy to watch unsorted movies and cartoons, then you might have just bought a private teacher to teach him gayism. Do not blame the media. The media has no responsibility in your child's upbringing. You ought to regulate what is available to your child at every stage of his development.

I can go on and on. In fact, the rise of gayism is something under our control. It is not depended on how well we insult the West for telling us to legalise it. You know and the West also know that homosexuality exists in this our country Ghana. If we are able to put practical measures to check our wards' development, there will never be enough gays that will create the current of opinion strong enough for gay legalisation. But if we are all shouting and barking at the West meanwhile we are breeding gays in our families and schools, then the gays will be enough to influence our public opinion. Imagine a Ghana with 30 percent of the population being gays, they will surely form a strong coalition that will influence our public discourse. Do not just be against gays, make sure your children are not gays.

Crispin Wienaa
Department of Optometry
University of Cape Coast