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Opinion | Feb 9, 2018

Grab And Grind? What Nonsense!

Grab And Grind? What Nonsense!

There is no future anywhere on Earth. The future is now and so is the next???. Therefore if you are in GIJ and you are thinking of a supposed future, without any regard to certain situations you presently find yourself in which may affect it, then I wonder the future you are hoping for.

We have exhausted most of our lifelines and we continue to use the remaining with all consciousness. We are beginning to rot, and the sad thing is that we are aware, but have turned blind eyes and death ears. I have been on the GIJ Ladies for quite some time now, but today I’m drawing yet another conclusion that the numerous problems aforementioned are caused by the Gents and then promoted by the Ladies.

He didn’t grind me this Friday evening but the look on my face told him something was wrong. When he asked I replied that the logic and critical thinking exams has left me with a headache. That was true but the more reason for that expression is Grab and Grind.

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In my early teens, I thought that when event planners organised their programs and made it free for ladies it meant that we (Ladies) were special. Quite contrary to that, the advertising slogans “FREE FOR LADIES” is as sick as being told the complement ” YOU LOOK SEXY”. After an event was advertised on a prestigious and award winning WhatsApp platform, I asked why the party was free for ladies and the reply I had was “FREE GRINDING FOR THE GUYS”.

Can You Imagine??? What nonsense!!!
Sometimes also, it is not absolutely free. When the cost of tickets is cost GHc20 for the guys, the cost for a couple is only GHc35, or it’s made free for the first few hours of the show but ladies are made to pay about GHc10 after 10:00pm and party Till Mama Calls.

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These slogans are deliberate attempts to use ladies as baits to boost their never satisfying pockets. It is sad that many do not see it this way but it is Utter Disrespect to Womanhood. No one forces women to go to these events but they go anyways. They blindfold you with “free for ladies”and because you also want to have fun you respond to these calls. They also use this slogan to ensure that you come in your numbers so that the boys who would have to pay before attending the party would have another lustful reason apart from the booze to attend. The more boys attend, the more money they get. You are not special at that point but you become an added advantage. At some of these events should you see how these ladies who are human beings are grabbed and grinded in the name of partying, its so appalling. We are not that cheap, are we? Paying nothing only to be caressed by some filthy hands. So should your mom see you during such an occurrence won’t she be heart broken? It’s the end of the semester and posters of such insulting events have been pasted all over. The price has been reduced for the boys who would want to take their girls along. You have now become “belaquah-take me along” and the single boys are also assured that its free for the ladies so probably each can grab about two girls.

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Such issues are extremely silent but it is slowly and unnoticeably contributing to a bigger perception in the society as it reinforces a sense of disrespect towards women. My concern here is our status as women. Why do we allow these so called event organisers degrade our worth? Yes I said “allow” perhaps if we don’t turn up for their parties they would stop using us as baits. Obviously some girls like it and I understand that *“Body no be Firewood” but think about it, even firewood has its value, importance, worth and price in the market no matter how cheap it is. We are worth so much more than that. Ask the event organisers if they would allow their sisters or female family members to be grabbed and grinded and watch them turn mute in trying to reply.

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Sadly the ladies who usually fight for equality for women find nothing wrong with this phenomenon. They will attend such parties, allow themselves to be grabbed and grinded and equally advocate for equality for women. Don’t we see that we are giving them the clear opportunity to degrade us like how a farmer practices crop rotation without a fallow period.

Sometimes err, the way someone’s daughter paaa was clinged to one guy in some one corner err, it was just pitiful.

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Let’s change the system. Our parents call us future leaders but we do this in school. Seriously, I don’t think that grinding and grabbing is on the path to being a future leader. No! Leaders of what? Grinders and Grabbers Association? Aaba! Think Twice, My Sister. Enough is enough. While we fight for equality, we also respond to the guys’ calls to degrade us for free. If this continues we would always fight for equality and never get it or never get satisfied. Let’s change the system. Which party are you going to after this valentines? Would you allow yourself to that ground level of being grabbed and grinded or you are worth so much more.

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It’s like iPhone users who don’t have pockets until they get to Circle.

We always wonder what it would be and look like if our lives turn out just as God plans. This is a time where our patience is being tested. Would you rather party with that time or pray and work towards that future we seek.

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Let’s change the system!!!

Let’s do it now!!!

Mercy Aba Blankson
Mercy Aba Blankson, © 2018

This author has authored 8 publications on Modern Ghana.
Author column: MercyAbaBlankson

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