Oh, its Tsatsu tsikata (First Half)

"Oh, Tsatsu Tsikata was the brightest. They were all good but Tsatsu was very brilliant" That was Ghana National Party Chairman, Obed Asamoah talking about his tutoring days at Legon. He was at a certain radio station for a program and a colleague and I were just eager to gulp in any knowledge he would dissipate and he was was willing. We never got to ask him about the alleged Volta River resettlement toe printing issue but we asked him who was the brightest among his three famous students, Kwesi Botchway, Tsatsu Tsikata and Attah Mills. "Oh, its Tsatsu Tsikata" () "They were all bright students but Tsatsu Tsikata was the brightest"

Tsikata panfooled everybody

We did see that coming. Did Tsikata not hold the record for being the youngest lawyer to be called to the bar until Osofo Kristo Asafo sent an offspring to push that record aside? He was alleged to be responsible for inserting that "abomination" known as the indemnity clause into the 1992 constitution. To add laughter to a not so funny joke, Tsikata pan-fooled everybody especially "those people" into thinking that they had to wait a certain number of years before challenging the constitution.

People were preparing, gathering evidence and awam witnesses They were building up their cases, then someone looked again triple trice and, oooh, seh ena! My God "adie ye ashi me. Aaah." They were supposed to take action within a certain number of years after the constitution took root, not the other way round. True, while he who signed the constitution was still at the colonial house with all the colonial institutions at his command, as well as majority of appointees to the Supreme Court. These added to a "rubber stamp" at that time called Parliament. He also technically was the Headteacher of the Ghanaʼs higher places of learning, effectively controlling the brains of the countryʼs future. And donʼt forget that oh so fine God sent, Criminal Libel Law, or was it colonial master sent. Tsooo mi dzor movi ntor.

The first clue was given by the stubborn cat

So the people waited till the same constitution told him he could no longer rule, then they their people took over government and started clipping his wings. First, they gave him police protection, revoked some of his privileges like driving his jaguar to the airport terminal and flying Ghana Air Force jets to release stress. The manʼs response was to unleash verbal boom after boom against them. Then came the Truth And Unreconcilable people who invited him and the man prepared to go unleash more vituperation only to be silenced with a question and told to go home. "Oh master" he said. Lesson one, how do you silence a boomer? The answer is in one quiet question.
Try did they find ways to get him. Ah, a discovery, they thought they were fighting a certain ex coup maker with an Oʼ level educational background. Yes but the brain they were up against was that of the other man, Tsatsu Tsikata. They discovered his finger prints everywhere. The clue was first given by the stubborn cat, His excellency the former Vice-President, Kow Nkensen Arkaah. He protested the presence of Tsatsu in the cabinet and got burned. Actually, not after he referred to his boss and others in the cabinet as abongo boys who were intellectually bankrupt and became "zombies" as a last resort because they were on their way to becoming misfits.

You donʼt mess around with Jerryʼs brains

Tsatsuʼs classmate Kwesi Bocthway also tried to call him to order and got burned and till this day, paying a political price, Ghana standards for his misadventure. Even if you were credited with turning Ghanaʼs economy around, you donʼt mess with Jerryʼs "brains". Enter presidential candidate Nana Akuffo-Addo who first started pursuing this case. Then Attorney General Nana Akuffo Addo is brilliant in his own right and has argued cases in foreign courts in foreign languages. But this is Tsikata, and he also got burned. Rumour had it he ducked through the nearest window at a party when he espied his friend and learned friend Tsatsu entering. Nana transferred quickly and sought refuge in a presidential shuffle to Foreign Affairs. Maybe it had something to do with the report that the man in charge at the time, owura Hackman stepped into the shoes of a foreign policy guru, Obed Asamoah and diplomat extra ordinaire, Vitor Gbeho and go burned.

Yet, how do you get that John who came before the current John? You dispatch VooDoo Childʼs Learned friends to the Scandinavian countries to dig for incriminating evidence to use against him. If you do not succeed, continue going after, his brains off course. This brainiac who was his defence attorney in 1979 when John shouted to his men, walk like soldiers and later told the court at the Burma Hall, "leave my men alone"


VooDoo Child
(By Dzifah Hiatsi)