Veronica Ngalasi Igwe: Loving, Giving and Forgiving Unto Death

It has been said that a mother's love is unconditional and everlasting. That mother's love constitutes the most powerful force on earth.

Luckily, my siblings and I, along with our families, embody the force and ferocity of Veronica Ngalasi Igwe's motherly love. At age 86, Veronica's love for us, the children, glowed, never waned, or wavered, never ceased, never faded. Her love never diminished and was ever giving, forever yielding, forgiving, but never forgetting.

Vero's love was steadfast and marked by a constant emptying of self in our being and becoming. She invested in everyone who came her way, not giving up on life, especially on us, her children, even when we faltered, as some are clearly faltering at this moment. I recall many years ago, I did poorly in my primary one examination. We were expecting Fr Pius Iwuchukwu, who used to visit. I was having a hard time figuring out what to tell Fr Iwuchukwu if he asked about my performance in the examination. I asked my mother for help, and she said. Fada juo gi si i gbara gini. Gwa ya si: "O foro ntakiri ma a daa"(If Fr asked about your performance, tell him you almost failed). Fr Pius came, asked me about my result, and I responded as my mother directed. Veronica's unblemished and undying love was there even when I failed or fumbled, as I did many times. Veronica was a mother of all time, a mother in season and out of season. She was there for me and for all her children to the very end.

Time and again, in the torturous course of her life, that her love got tested, tempted, or tried. That love suffered trials and tribulations. But Veronica rose to the challenge. At some of those moments, my mother would firmly and unapologetically respond saying: Ihunanya ajuola m (Love has asked me) question. Ihunaya (Love) asked my mother questions so many times, and she provided eternal and impeccable answers.

Born into a humble and challenging background in Umunomo, Ngalasi, nwa Maduforo, learnt early to weather the storms of life and eke out a meaningful existence with doggedness, iron-clad determination, and optimism. She never relented. She never wavered in her diligent, persistent, and relentless pursuit of what she thought was right and good for the family, even when the odds were against her. In a marriage tested by war that almost took her life, our late father, Oliver, and our dear sister, Onyinye, Veronica's love endured and forged a union that yielded 5 children, fourteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and still counting.

Her everlasting love radiated as she managed and tried to contain characteristic habits of Igwe family constituents, including those of her husband, his brothers and sisters, their children, and other immediate and extended family members. She invested heavily in gluing the Igwechukwu family; she tried to uplift my cousins, who sometimes responded and reciprocated, not in kind but with cruelty.

Veronica Igwe's motherly love ensured that we, the children, seized opportunities she never had and attained heights she only imagined. Although she dropped out of school very early, Vero ensured that we, the children, never did.

I recall this incident many years ago. Our late father, in his characteristic manner, told one of my siblings admitted to study at one of Nigeria's prestigious universities that he wouldn't sponsor him because he was too stubborn. He said something along these lines: E be ina gabo university ya digi otua nahu! (You have not been to the university, and you conduct yourself this way)

My mother could not take it. She stormed out of the meeting saying, " Nwa m I ga ga ya! (My son, you will attend the university). Look Nwa yahu gara ya, guchaa (the son attended and finished) and today holds a doctoral degree in political science. That was typical Veronica, fierce, determined, and defiant when necessary.

Veronica was there for all of us as we grew up. She attended my sister's matriculation at the then University of Ife and made it possible for her to enjoy the day like other students. Vero bought me the seminary entrance form, attended my investiture at Seat of Wisdom Seminary, Owerri, visited me a number of times and repeatedly told me to withdraw from the program if, as a priest, I would not conduct myself with integrity. Even with her failing health, Mama supported the education of my siblings, Toochi and Nnamdi, her other children and grandchildren, to her very last moments. As if she knew that her end was near, when we visited home during the Easter period, my mum gave out her savings, the money in her purse, some of her clothes, shoes, and other belongings to family and community members, urging everyone to live in peace and care for one another. I never knew that visit would be our last together.

Thank you, mama, for being a mother like no other. Thank you for the gift of love that will continue to flow in our veins, hearts, and minds for eternity. Good bye Vero. Rest in peace.

Leo Igwe sent in this piece from Ibadan, Oyo state.