22.09.2020 Feature Article

Politics Police & Parade

Politics Police  Parade
22.09.2020 LISTEN

Sometimes the way they carry themselves could be problematic. And the way they shout is often viewed as enigmatic too. It's often difficult to understand exactly what they mean and what they're up to.

Take this one for instance: 'Parade shun.'

Do you know what that means?

It means: Please stand to attention.

Yes, please stand to attention because I'm about to introduce to you the officer on parade. We're in Ga Mashie'.I didn't want to disclose our location.

I'd wanted to keep the card close to my chest.

But I can't be stingy. You'd be surprised to know how many officers had slight prickling sensation when the parade commander dropped what seemed like a bombshell. Some even experienced a tingly sense of excitement. They felt it in their slacks and britches.

Commander DCOP Afful Boakye-Yiadom has the explosive. Just give me a sec, he's going to blow your mind. By the way, before we get started if you know you've in your possession the following ' Dudo'---'Alomo bitters, Ginseng bitters, Pashew bitters, Bula Matari bitters, Kofie Kosu bitters, Komfo Anokye bitters, Krotwamansa bitters, Diawuo bitters, please throw them away immediately.


It seems to me politicians have no clue. That when they go to bed at night, the blue-beret men have their guns drawn watching-- to keep them safe. That their political game could also affect someone else's nocturnal or romantic activities. That some guys will have to experience dry spell because of the upcoming December 7th general elections. Seriously!

Mind you, we're in Ga Mashie and not Massachusetts. Ok. So after more than an hour march through some landmark streets in Accra on Monday 21, September 2020 Commander DCOP Boakye-Yiadom dropped this bomb:

"You all know the consequence of major offence so always be guided by that section and control yourself. We all need the energy to work during the election. I, therefore, advise all of you to reduce your sexual rounds for you to get the energy to work during and after the elections."

Which section Mr Officer?

Is it in section1902? I couldn't find it.I tasked sergeant major and constable Adeanyera to look it up for me, yet to no avail.

DCOP Boakye-Yiadom reminded them of the punishment that awaits them should any of the officers fall foul of the law, stressing the police hierarchy will not hesitate to crack the whip on any officer who flouts the rules.

He also commended the officers for showing strength and determination throughout the exercise, noting that their output is an indication of their readiness for the elections.

Thank you, Commander. It's now my turn to have the final words: May your days and nights be good. Eat good, sleep good and drink wisely. And don't forget this---circumcise your sexual appetite. It's also time for me to.dismiss you all. Please arrange yourself to an officer to the position on your right. That's right.

You now have permission to fall out!

By Gordon Offin-Amaniampong