Lady Tremaine, Fairy Godmothers, Cinderella, Womanhood, Feminism, Tradition, and Constraints

Once upon a time, there lived a girl. A girl who was unique, outspoken, and full of life, possessing what they call mmpayinsem. Yet, in Ghanaian culture and around the world, a woman who is free, who breaks traditional rules, is seen as a liability.

It has been a while since I claimed the word feminism, probably due to hurt or anger. Nevertheless, recently, a feminist sat down while I was sitting on my bum. She sat down at my level and metaphorically hugged and consoled me. That is the Fairy Godmother. That is sisterhood.

The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy women. He comes with words like "girl", "conformity", "duty", and most of all, "be a lady"—that phrase they used to justify whipping slaves into a ladylike shape. A phrase that, for women around the world, shackles many. I am not saying there is anything wrong with loving the ladylike way if it is innate, if you find it beautiful, and if it is practised in a way that does not harm women. Being a lady is a right a woman can choose to exercise.

Yet, I speak of how it is used toxically, much like the word "girl". The issue was never the word itself, but how it was corrupted. Unfortunately, in the modern day, Lady Tremaine has taken over women's empowerment through "Girl Bossing" and the idea of female bossing as an identity. She has reached the pinnacle of society and is enjoying it there, having used whatever means necessary to get there, usually a Machiavellian façade of outward respectability paired with the brutality of politics.

Then come the ideas of hard work: the exact same promises Lady Tremaine gave to Cinderella. If she worked hard enough, if she followed Lady Tremaine's rules closely enough, one day she, too, would be free and sipping with the top classes. Today, it is called empowerment. Cinderella worked and worked and worked, but she would never have left that place if she had not met the Fairy Godmother, who told her to disobey Lady Tremaine, to disobey society's rules, and to believe in making what society had never conceived of as accessible accessible to her, so she could have her own happily ever after.

Cinderella did not want a prince; she wanted to dance and go to the ball. Her ambition was freedom. Maybe she found love, too, but that is not my point here. My point is that, throughout history, Lady Tremaine has existed in many forms, whether as the one who upholds tradition or as the "Girl Boss", to make a Cinderella believe that through labour alone, she will be free.

That is why this girl is a feminist: agency. I am not here because of men. I am here because once there was a girl who did not fit into society: a girl who was loud and free-spirited, who loved to look at and explore her body even as a child, who said what others called taboo, and who, as a woman, still carves her own path. Everyone goes to the movement where they get what they need. Feminism works for me because I never fitted into what society told me should have been innate but wasn't. Feminists are human. They want the right to exist freely.

I personally have never wanted to be Amazoningly amazing as a woman. Even Amazon women in pop culture have feelings. I never wanted to be a "wonder" of a woman. Wonder Woman's strength was not about being a labourer of all trades; she could fly and had immense strength, but above all, she was human, longing for agency and craving feeling. I never wanted to be super as a woman, nor do I think any man wants to be super as a man. Most of these heroes did not even choose their burdens. I simply never wanted to be burdened by the cage of tradition and the rules born from a single, corrupted word. Man-made rules, too. Cheers to more female life in abundance.