Is It Right For Couples To Share Childcare And Housework?

Dividing childcare and housework duties with your partner

Can two parents really divide the responsibilities of home and family equally? If you're willing to spend time talking about what each family member needs (as well as what needs to be done around the house), you may come pretty close. Use the tips below to begin figuring out who should do what.

Work together
Everybody in the family benefits when parents work together to maintain home and hearth. Men are more involved in childcare these days, which helps them develop a strong bond with their kids. Children also benefit from positive role models: They see that men and women both are important to family life.

Chores and housework are unavoidable, and there may not be an ideal division of labor. But when parents cooperate, communicate fairly, and work together, everybody comes out ahead.

Rethink your goals
How does a modern couple maintain balance at home – get dinner on the table, do laundry, feed and bathe the kids – and still have some time for each other and themselves?

Before answering that question, think about what exactly you both want and need. Rather than aiming for a straight 50-50 division of labor, try to find a way to simply balance the load and keep both of you feeling happy, productive, and appreciated.

List your responsibilities
Keep a one-week log of everything you do around the house and for the family. Have your partner do the same. Then compare lists.

• How do you each feel about the items on your list?
• Do you want to change anything?
• Is there any task you intensely dislike?
• Can you swap it for another chore?

This exercise can be eye-opening: Don't be surprised if one person's list is very long and the other's isn't. With lists in hand, try reassigning responsibilities and finding compromises. Maybe you can agree to take turns doing the especially difficult tasks.

And stay flexible even after you've divided up the chores in a way that's mutually agreeable. Be willing to help each other out when you can, or even swap chores once in a while to get a feel for what your partner does.