"Big Weddings Put Pressure On Marriages" — Ruth Kadiri

Nollywood actress and producer Ruth Kadiri has urged couples to reconsider elaborate wedding ceremonies, arguing that the pressure surrounding big weddings can affect couples mentally and place unnecessary strain on their marriages.

In a video shared on her Instagram page on Saturday, the filmmaker encouraged young couples to opt for simpler ceremonies, saying societal expectations around weddings often make people more anxious about marriage.

According to Kadiri, couples who are comfortable dating and spending time together may begin to experience fear and uncertainty when faced with the pressure of an elaborate wedding ceremony.

“Do you know that people that naturally have fear of marriage, they could date this girl, love her, be with her every day, every day, every day, and then after this whole damn ceremony, have you asked yourself what changed?” she said.

She advised couples to consider keeping their weddings small, suggesting that they could involve close family members, pay the bride price, have a court wedding and invite a pastor to pray for them without organising elaborate celebrations.

Kadiri also argued that the pressure to meet societal expectations had made Nigerians attach too much importance to wedding ceremonies, with some people believing their marriages would not succeed without following every traditional and religious process.

“Engagement, court, white wedding, traditional wedding, and people genuinely feel that if they don't go through this process, their marriage will not work,” she said.

Reflecting on her own marriage, the actress suggested that avoiding the pressure of an elaborate wedding had contributed to her ability to balance her personal life and career.

“I feel like it's part of why I'm successful. I've stayed this year, I can categorically say I'm successful because I've seen people married two months before, so me, I don try. I don try,” she said.

Beyond weddings, Kadiri called for a broader change in the expectations placed on Nigerians, particularly young people, by their parents, families and society.

She criticised the pressure on children to succeed financially and provide money for their families, as well as the expectations placed on firstborn children.

The actress further challenged conventional definitions of success, arguing that people should be allowed to pursue lives that bring them peace rather than constantly trying to satisfy others.

“Success means different things to different people. Success can just be me sleeping in my house every day, waking up and telling my children I love you. I might not want to work,” she said.

Ruth Kadiri also urged Nigerians to ease the pressure they place on themselves and others, warning that spending years trying to meet societal expectations could leave people unnecessarily angry and unhappy.