Growing up as a child, I thought the only way to become my best was to compare myself with my peers, friends, siblings and classmates. In fact, this was the most foolish thought to have especially when you want to get the best out of your personal life.
Comparing yourself with others is the recipe for failure. As you know, we are created and wired differently to achieve things differently to make the world a better place. However, many of us think the only way to be our very best is to compare or copy others way of dressing, eating, bathing, driving, speaking, etc…hence, we fail and complain about life.
Comparing yourself to others means that, you want them to validate you on their terms and ways of living. This rather slows and prevents us from believing in our ability to excel in life. The question I keep asking myself is that, why should I live another’s life when he is not ready to live my life? It does not make sense whatsoever.
The challenges or the issues with this is that, you lose yourself, self-awareness, confidence and inspiration to be all that you can be in life, which in the long round, causes pain, disappointment and regret. You are not born to compete with anyone but to live your life to please God and inspire the world with your uniqueness. Comparing yourself to others only creates vacuum in your mind which brings fear, worries, anxiety and doubt to fill it. When this happens, failure becomes the outcome of your life.
Life is a race which must be run with personal confidence and pace. Comparing yourselves with others limits you from giving your best to the race.
I was once driving on the motor-way with a pastor friend of mine. We were going on a mission trip to Manchester on the M4. My friend and other church members were in his Mercedes E-Class while others were in my ford focus. At one point, I discovered my friend has driven passed me. Immediately, I thought to myself, let me compete with him by driving pass him. I managed to overtake him and thought I had made it ahead of him. Sadly and unfortunately for me; I started smelling some odd smell from the engine of my car. I became very concerned and worried about my car so I pulled over. To my amazement and shock, just as I got everyone from the car, flames of fire started coming out from the engine.
Now, my lesson from this terrible experience is that, never try to compete with others because you never know what the driving force behind their success and fame is. I tried to over push or ride myself beyond my capacity and the capacity of the car I drive. How on earth can a Ford focus to be in competition with Mercedes? Only God knows how we were saved from calamity.
The mistake I did was to move my focus off my strength and placed it on my pastor friend. Comparing yourself to others move or shift your focus off your personal strength, energy, pace and purpose in life. This makes us to lose our self-esteem, motivation, inspiration and drive to chisel the gold out of our mines. Diamonds don’t compare themselves to gold. They are all in different class and value. Stay in your lane to maintain your value in life.
When we focus our attention and energy on what we can only do in life, we succeed in whatever we do and become relevant and significant in society. As an author, I stay in my area of writing. I write motivational, inspirational, empowering and life transformational books on leadership, relationships, ministry and career success. I don’t compare myself to other authors who write on fictions, novel or poetry.
I have been successful in these areas as an author and have performed to the best of my ability as a lifestyle coach and transformational speaker. This is what happens when you refused to compare yourself to others. Some may be doing or writing the same book but, your message is your message and that must not be compromised with others. It does not matter if you are struggling with your dream or ideas in life. It is better to struggle to make it in life than to compare yourself to others and lose your purpose or reason for your living.
Success is not a race or a destination. Your success has a time attached to it. Stay focused and pursue what you are here to achieve and give your total commitment to it than comparing yourself to others.
Your success is your benchmark.
What you do and how you do it is entirely your choice. It is very prudent to understand that, no one is going to be like you, so stop trying to live another person’s life in your mind. Learn to dedicate or sacrifice your time to live your dream. Nobody is born to walk your walk or talk your talk. Begin to inspire yourself to remain focused in chiselling the gold out of your mine. This is how you walk away with your head held high proud of what you achieved without fear or unhealthy competition.
Ferdinard Lawson graduated from Sussex University and holds a BSc Degree in Public Health and Social Care. He is the Founder & C.E.O of Ferdinard Lawson Empowerment & Inspirational Agency C.I.C (FLEiA.CIC) in UK, Public Health Professional, Author, Lifestyle Coach, Transformational & Public Speaker and Publication Consultant. He is a Multiple Awards Winning Author, Public Speaker and a Lifestyle Coach. He has published many inspirational, motivational books, and leadership books and full member of the Royal society for Public Health. England. He is currently the Co-Chairman of Mega (Kingston Hospital Trust)