Effective Communication, The Thread That Holds Marriage

Marriage is undoubtedly the oldest and most important human institution in the world. It is the bedrock of every society and its functions significantly affect the survival of humanity in this world. This is clearly indicated by a renowned psychologist, “attack marriage and the whole humanity will fall.” No wonder most countries are attaching privileges and securities toward the protection of marriages in their countries.

It is the dream of every marriage to last a lifetime, yet, many collapses just few weeks after tying the knot. Divorce rates are on high and its impact not only affect the two divorced couples but their children, extended families, societies and the nation as a whole. Several research works have demonstrated devastating effects of divorce on the development and growth of children involved. This therefore, call for all hands on deck to shield our children and future generations of this country by fighting this canker called divorce.

Among the factors leading to divorce, lack of communication among marriage couples has been most cited as the leading cause. On the other hand, effective communication has been the secret of happily married couples. Again, effective communication has been most quoted as the solution to almost all the factors leading to divorce. This makes effective communication the thread that holds marriage and therefore a major skill and tool that every couple need to acquire before tying the knot.

The Journal of Family Psychology 2012, revealed that the couples’ communication pattern proved to be more predictive of divorce than their reported levels of commitment, personality assessment and stress. A paper entitled Early Years of Marriage Project indicated that good communication set the happiest of couples apart from the less blissful. A counselling psychologist in an article, “Psychology Today” indicated that when you understand how to effectively communicate with others, you will likely experience less stressful, more streamlined interactions in your personal life as well as your professional life.

In understanding the impact of effective communication, it is prudent to see its value in the eyes of today’s business environments. Effective communication has been known to be an effective tool in achieving organizational goals. Several research works have listed tremendous improvement in businesses, quality health care, quality education, clients’ confidence and satisfaction, working relationship and job satisfaction as a result of improvement in communication. A medical research in health have indicated a linkage of ineffective clinician patient communication to increased malpractice risk, non-adherence, patient and clinician dissatisfaction, and poor patient health outcomes.

Marriage as an institution, is also built on effective communication. Communication act as a force that bind couples together. It is the element that exposes their unity, togetherness and oneness. As quoted by an unknown author, communication is a mighty river on the banks of which marriage life is built.

In moment of anxiety, stress and depression which are likely to hit any marriage especially during hardships, it is effective communication which act as a relief to cure them. Hardly will couples who communicate effectively cheat each other. This is because the causal agents of infidelities in marriages which come as a result of lack of care, appreciation, attention, and so on, would be cured when effective communication become a central figure in marriage. Unnecessary conflicts and fictions cannot contaminate a marriage secured in effective communication. In fact, effective communication breeds mutual respect among couples. Both partners know the perfect and appropriate time to discuss issues that may lead to conflict when not managed suitably.

I wonder why there are so many sexual advertisements in the media instead of tools that would help enhance communication in marriage. It has been established in several works on sex that one of the greatest tool to enhance sexual satisfaction is effective communication. Stress on sex ahead of communication carries so much dissatisfaction among many marriages which evidently lead to infidelity. If you desire to improve on your sexual performance, avoid drugs, just focus on developing communication with your partner. Marriage has seasons. A time will come when the desire for sex diminishes, beauty fades, strength weakens, money stop flowing, health deteriorates, yet, it will be effective communication that will renew the marriage and make it as fresh as it was in the beginning.

Effective communication is a skill and like every skill, it develops naturally when practiced often. It starts by respecting and cherishing your partner. One need to be selfless and determined to achieve an improvement in communication. It needs the commitment of both parties. It can begin by motivating each other, not looking down upon the other, appreciating the view of the other person, learning to listen and sharing jokes together. Issues such as sexual satisfaction, sharing future aspirations, hobbies and learning new games, cooking and do chores together, enjoying television programs together can all create conducive environment for communication. Tucking a nice note in a spouse’s wallet or purse, reading and discussing together especially the Bible and life enhancing materials, text messages, giving a shoulder rub, can all bridge communication gaps between both parties.

Effective communication can be achieved and if you really desire to make your marriage a living testimony for young and future generations to emulate, then just call you partner and focus on working together toward effective communication. As my pastor once said, there is no achievement in achieving all achievements but fail to achieve great achievement in marriage but achievement is achieved upon failing to achieve all achievement but yet, achieve great achievement in marriage.

Jeffery Amo – Asare
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