
Let me start with a question that will make some of you uncomfortable. If a doctor told you today that your mind was going to slowly leave you, would you call it a curse or a calling?
Barry Michels has had to answer that for real, and his answer is stirring up a lot of conversation.
If the name is new to you, Michels is a psychotherapist who spent his career treating Hollywood's power elite: studio heads, power brokers, actors, writers, directors. With his mentor Phil Stutz, he co-wrote The Tools, a New York Times bestseller. His clients reportedly include Drew Barrymore and Gwyneth Paltrow. He was the man the rich and famous called when their own minds fell apart.
Then his own mind became the problem. In 2023, Michels was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia. His publisher says the same illness that took his father's life would take his own.
What this disease actually is
Many of us have never heard the name, so let me explain it.
Lewy body dementia is the second most common type of dementia after Alzheimer's disease. Harvard Medical School's health blog says it has tended to hide in the shadows. It is caused by abnormal protein deposits that collect in nerve cells in the brain and affect thinking, memory and movement. The Lewy Body Dementia Association says more than 1 million people in the United States have it.
It also doesn't look like the dementia most of us picture. Harvard's experts note that visual hallucinations often arise early in LBD, and that people often move slowly and stiffly, developing tremors and gait changes and becoming prone to falls. That is why it gets misdiagnosed so often. Its symptoms frequently mimic those of Parkinson's disease, psychiatric conditions, and other types of dementia.
There is also no simple test. The Altru Health System's guide says plainly that no single test can diagnose Lewy body dementia and there's no cure, though many symptoms can be treated.
The conversation Oprah put on the table
In a recent episode of her podcast, Oprah Winfrey sat down with Michels to talk about his new memoir, Ahead of All Parting. The conversation runs about an hour. The topics listed for the episode include the grief that follows a diagnosis, the point where he first noticed something was off, why he refused to hide his illness, and what it did to him as a therapist.
Drew Barrymore joins in the middle to speak about what he has done for her life. Later there is a segment with a guest named Alex, who lives with kidney failure, and a segment on religion during a diagnosis. The episode closes with Michels on writing and on looking at his own mortality.
What struck me is how the book describes the early days. According to the publisher, Michels was plunged into an abyss of despair, finding respite only in his practice and on long, defiant hikes. Then Stutz told him to walk the karmic path before him, to write in order to find meaning, and to fight like hell.
The part that will start arguments
Michels did something most of us would not. He told people. He was compelled to tell patients, friends and his mentor, and in activating his community for the first time on his own behalf, he was transformed. And according to his publisher, this lifelong atheist embraced the divine.
I know how this will go down. Some readers will say a man facing death grabbed for God because fear makes anyone religious. Others will say he is the most honest witness we have, because he has nothing left to perform.
Then there is the idea that his diagnosis was the path he was meant to walk. Be honest with yourself here. For some people that sentence is comfort. For others it sounds like the kind of thing healthy people say to sick people to make themselves feel better. A family that has just watched a father forget their names will not feel it as a gift. Kirkus Reviews, to its credit, doesn't oversell the book. It calls it a fascinating testament to one man's struggle with mortality, and it points out that Michels leans heavily on the language of his own therapeutic brand.
I think both sides are right, and that is exactly why the conversation matters. Michels is not saying the disease is good. He is saying a person can still find meaning inside something terrible. Michael J. Fox, who knows something about this, says the book is a reminder that even when life changes course, meaning, purpose, and joy can still be found along the way.
Why this belongs on a Ghanaian page
We are a people who know how to gather around a funeral. We are much worse at gathering around the living who are slowly losing something. In too many of our homes, memory loss is whispered about, hidden from visitors, or blamed on something spiritual. Families spend years being ashamed instead of informed.
Michels did the opposite. He said it out loud. If a man who earned his living guarding other people's secrets can announce his own diagnosis, maybe the rest of us can drop the silence around our own grandparents, uncles and mothers.
The second lesson is quieter. Michels looked at the thing that will end him and decided to write about it. Not everyone has a publisher or an Oprah. But everyone has a notebook, a voice note, a family WhatsApp group, a church bench, a friend who will listen. The tools are cheap. What costs something is the courage.
I won't tell you he found peace, because I haven't walked his road. I will tell you he chose to meet his ending with his eyes open and his door unlocked, and that is a harder thing than most of us manage in perfect health.
So I'll leave you with the question I started with. Is a diagnosis like this a curse or a calling?
Tell me where you land. I'm reading the comments.
Sources: Publisher synopses of Ahead of All Parting (Spiegel & Grau, via Blackwell's and Porchlight Books); Kirkus Reviews; Harvard Health Publishing; Altru Health System's Lewy body dementia guide; Mayo Clinic and Lewy Body Dementia Association figures as reported by Cox Media Group stations; episode description of Oprah Winfrey's podcast.



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