Having No Desire to Impress Anyone Will Give You Peace of Mind

There's a particular kind of tiredness that has nothing to do with sleep. It's the tiredness of chasing people's approval — of needing them to say you're kind, you're smart, you're doing well. That chase will drain you faster than any job.

Stop seeking validation
You want to impress family members so they say, 'as for this guy, he is good.' You want to give out your last pesewa so they say you're kind. But wait till the money finishes. Then you'll find out whether it was you they wanted, or your money.

I grew up hearing this compliment. I overheard my late mother telling her friend, "as for my boy, he is very peaceful — Nehodwo." I held onto that word like it was my identity. I wanted it to stay intact forever. I policed myself around it — never raising my voice, never pushing back, never disappointing anyone — because "Nehodwo" was who I was supposed to be.

It took me years to see what that compliment was quietly costing me. People had learned exactly what I was — the peaceful one, the one who wouldn't cause trouble — and they used it. Not maliciously, most of the time. Just conveniently. I was the one who'd agree, absorb, adjust, go without, so the peace could hold. I was so busy being Mr. Nice Guy that I never stopped to ask whether the peace was mine or just useful to everyone around me.

Breaking free from that corner didn't mean becoming unkind. It meant realizing that being liked and being used can wear the exact same face — and only you can tell the difference from the inside.

Wanting people to constantly confirm that you're a good person quietly steals your joy. Before you know it, you're not living your life anymore — you're performing it for an audience. Every decision gets filtered through "what will they think?" instead of "what do I actually want?" That's not living. That's auditioning.

Free yourself from the audition. Not everyone needs to clap for you.

Play smart, not just nice
Say you're doing an online transaction and the person on the other end starts sounding a little too smooth, a little too urgent, asking questions that don't sit right. The moment your gut says "something's off," hang up. Don't stay on the line because you don't want to seem rude. Fraudsters count on your politeness. Being "nice" has never protected anybody's money — being alert has.

“Se wo were fi na wosankofa a, yenkyi” — it's not wrong to go back for what you nearly lost by trusting too quickly. Suspicion, when it's earned, is not a character flaw. It's discernment.

Get busy building yourself
Here's the real secret to peace of mind: stay occupied with things that move your life forward. Learn a new skill. Read something that stretches you. Build a second income stream. Fill your hours with growth, and you simply won't have the bandwidth left to gossip about who's doing what, or to bend yourself out of shape trying to please everybody in the room.

Idle hands and idle minds go looking for drama. Busy, purposeful ones don't have the time.

Value chases favors down. Favors don't chase flattery

There will be moments you feel the pull to flatter someone, to lick a few boots, because you need something from them — a contract, an introduction, a door opened. It's tempting. But flip the strategy: instead of chasing the favor, chase your own value. Sharpen your skill. Build something people need. Become someone worth knowing.

Do that consistently, and something interesting happens — the favors start finding you. You won't need to diminish yourself or step on anyone else to get ahead, because what you've built speaks before you even open your mouth.

The bottom line
Peace of mind isn't found in being liked by everyone. It's found in being useful to yourself first — sharp enough to spot a scam, secure enough to skip the applause, and busy enough building your own life that other people's opinions simply stop being loud enough to hear.

“Wo bo ne wo bo” — your worth is your worth. Nobody else gets to price it for you.

Author: Felix Ekow Eshun