Parenting Beyond Survival: Raising Children Who Flourish Affluently

In a previous article, I reflected on the biblical foundations of parenthood and the responsibility entrusted to parents to nurture children in love, wisdom, and discipline. Recently, a conversation with my sister as well as Henry Cleland and his wife, Esther, caused me to revisit this subject from a different angle. As they shared some of the child-rearing techniques taught at their children’s school, I found myself reflecting on my own upbringing and educational experiences, and how they have shaped my views on parenting today. I aways have a stance that do not have kids just because others do and I believe adulting is its own pressure than peer pressure especially: when transitioning from singlehood to dating then marriage Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, 24:6. It is important to note, Counselling is pivotal to entering marriage and key to child rearing no one should enter marriage without Godly Counsel.

Like many Africans, I was raised in a society where children were expected to obey, respect authority, and contribute to the family. These values remain important and have undoubtedly shaped many responsible adults. However, having attended schools where many of my educators were white and exposed to educational philosophies that emphasized emotional development alongside academic achievement, I was introduced to approaches that differed significantly from what many of us considered normal parenting.

However, listening to Henry and Esther describe some of the methods encouraged at their children’s school reminded me that parenting is not simply about controlling behaviour; it is about forming character, building confidence, and nurturing healthy emotional development.

FIRST PRINCIPLE: THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING BEFORE CORRECTING.

Rather than immediately punishing a child for undesirable behaviour, parents are encouraged to understand what emotions or circumstances may be driving that behaviour. A child who appears stubborn may actually be frustrated. A child who seems withdrawn may be struggling with anxiety or fear. This approach does not eliminate discipline, but it ensures that discipline is informed by understanding rather than anger.

Another practice involved giving children age-appropriate choices. Instead of making every decision for them, parents allow children to make small decisions and experience the consequences of those decisions within safe boundaries. This helps develop responsibility, critical thinking, and confidence. Children gradually learn that their choices matter and that they are accountable for the outcomes.

Henry and Esther also emphasized the importance of validating a child’s emotions without necessarily agreeing with their actions. For many of us who grew up hearing phrases such as “stop crying” or “because I said so,” this concept may seem unusual. Yet there is a significant difference between acknowledging a child’s feelings and endorsing poor behaviour. A parent can say, “I understand that you are angry,” while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. Such responses teach emotional intelligence and help children develop healthy ways of expressing themselves.

Whiles writing this article, I got to understand that parenting is best when you have a supportive system. I grew up in one income household and could tell that my dreams and what I saw as priority did not fit the picture which my parents had for me as I saw that the environment one raises their children says a lot about their future. Having compare my wealthier neighbors in their two income houses I realized it was a thief of time. Rather, in that circumstance, one should renew their mind and look at adding value to oneself rather than wallow in shame as I did and making wishful thinking.

A FOURTH LESSON FOCUSED ON POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

Rather than constantly highlighting failures and mistakes, parents intentionally recognize effort, improvement, kindness, honesty, and perseverance. Children who receive consistent encouragement often develop a healthier sense of self-worth and are more motivated to repeat positive behaviours.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MODELLING THE BEHAVIOUR PARENTS WISH TO SEE

Children learn far more from observation than instruction. A parent who demands respect while speaking disrespectfully to others sends conflicting messages. Likewise, parents who demonstrate empathy, honesty, accountability, and self-control are teaching powerful lessons every day, often without realizing it.

As I reflect on these approaches, I acknowledge my own bias. My exposure to different educational environments may influence how I view parenting. Nevertheless, I believe there is value in examining methods that consistently produce emotionally healthy, confident, and responsible adults. Every culture possesses strengths, and no parenting model is perfect. However, wisdom requires us to remain open to learning and adapting where necessary.

One of the greatest challenges facing many societies today is the number of adults carrying unresolved childhood wounds. These wounds often manifest as broken relationships, low self-esteem, violence, addiction, emotional dependency, and other social challenges. While not every difficulty can be traced directly to parenting, it is impossible to ignore the profound influence that childhood experiences have on adult outcomes.

GOOD PARENTING IS THEREFORE NOT SIMPLY A PRIVATE FAMILY MATTER; IT IS A PUBLIC INVESTMENT.

The children we nurture today become tomorrow’s leaders, teachers, spouses, employers, employees, and citizens. Every child raised with love, discipline, emotional security, and a strong value system contributes positively to society. Perhaps the most important lesson from my conversation with Henry and Esther is that parenting should be intentional. Children do not merely need food, clothing, and education. They need guidance, affirmation, boundaries, and emotional connection. They need parents who are willing to learn, grow, and sometimes challenge long-held assumptions about child-rearing.

If we can embrace approaches that build both character and emotional well-being, we may raise a generation that is not defined by trauma but equipped to contribute meaningfully to their families, communities, and nations. Such a generation would not merely survive childhood; they would flourish throughout adulthood.

AN EXCELLENT QUESTION FOR DEBATE OR FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The future of society is being shaped in our homes today. The question for every parent is simple: What kind of adults are we raising?

Dedicated to the Cleland
And in memory of Uncle Alvin Mingle.
He always had a listening ear.
My sister and parents.
MOGCSP STAFF
Dr Adolf Bekoe