Showdown: The Lion Of Gonja Versus The Tiger Of Mamprugu

Have you booked your seat yet? If you have not done so then do so now. It is going to be very bad, nasty, ugly. brutal, bloody, sweaty, bone cracking, face wrenching and dramatic. Yes! The battle between The Lion of Gonja and The Tiger of Mamprugu. Where? Dodowa Forest. Why Dodowa forest? because-" we don't know what is happening in Dodowa Forest" . When? December 7, 2024

For years these two have been insulting and teasing each other so much that it has reached a crescendo that no one can even separate them. They are tearing each other apart with insinuations, direct verbal abuse and threats of "killing" each other. It all started in 2008 when the Tiger painfully lost and the Lion won vice-presidential elections. While the Tiger was licking his wounds on his way to his village in Walewale, some personnel suspected to be agents of the Lion stopped and manhandled. He was searched and accused of trafficking weapons to his area to foment trouble. The weapon found on him was later found to be legally given to him as part of his security arrangement as a vice presidential candidate. He felt embarrassed and humiliated. Since then the Tiger had not forgiven and forgotten about this incident. He had been looking out for ways to "cut his pound of flesh" from the Lion.

When Ghana Media contacted the Lion he had this to say. "He has been insulting me that I am incompetent. I do not read. I took the state's estate and handed it over to Kwasi Broni. What does he know to describe me as incompetent? Has he ever been a president before? Does he know what it takes to be the president of a whole nation? Does he know what I had to go through as an adult? He is a small boy. I will teach him to show some respect to me. I will show him that when he buys kenkey he needs to get pepper. He has forgotten that I am a descendant of Jakpa. Seriously, I need to teach this "small boy" a real lesson."

"Guess what? He even wants to deprive me of the presidency, the thing I have enjoyed before. I only gave it up when one of the elders of our family, Nana, came around on grounds that "newaa mma nsae a wofaase nni adee" (in our system of inheritance maternal uncles should have their turn before nephews). It was handed over to me when my "my maternal uncle" Wofa Atta died. I was the preferred nephew and the one around at the time so the elders gave the "stool" to me. Now that Nana has indicated that he is tired and needs a replacement, listen to what this small boy is saying: it belongs to him; he is the next of kin. Okay! Come for it! Bush boy!"

The Tiger is unrelenting. Listen to him: "Who is he? He thinks he is big and tall so he can bully me. Yes I said he is incompetent . Yes I said he does not read that is why he does not understand basic principles of leadership and continues to make fundamental mistakes. Let him try. I will show him real pepper. He is big so what? He cannot do foko, tee. I will change his dental formula within seconds. He doesn't know me. Let him bring it on! He will regret the day he was born; he will call "akoko as alolo. Bring it on, Lion! You want a flesh of me? Come for it. Yes! I want to and will be the president of Ghana.He has had his chance.It is my turn."

As things were shaping up the Russians clandestinely took the Lion out of the country and coached in Social Psychology- Communication with special emphasis in CIT - Communist Inferior Tactics. This was apparent in the 2020 elections where his followers were able to convince some election officials who made him appear to be the number on the ballot when he was in fect the number two

The Tiger went to London and was whisked away to Canada where he was hidden in a shrine in Vancouver called Simon Fraser. It is understood that the "krofasas" in the shrine douched him into some kind of juju called Candonomics. They made him eat, drink, talk, bathe, wash and sleep in that nomics. You would think in this case the US would be out of it. Are you sure when Russia's name is mentioned? When the US saw that the guy was drenched in Candanomics, they hid him in a Texas shrine for some children to drain him of some of the Candonomics. He started "akonomics" and he could be heard every morning dancing and singing demanoics, supplinomics, economics, makonomics, micronomics and monynomics It was here that a JAK found and brought him to Ghana and hid him at the BOG.

Some Ghanaian leaders do not want to intervene. When the matter was reported to the Asantehene, Otunfuo Osei Tutu II, he initially did not comment but later said "leave them alone and let one kill the other. I have known no peace ever since these two were brought to the palace," Togbe Afede, the Agbogbomefia of the Asogli State said "these boys are jokers; when are they going to be serious for once?, they are always fighting." The Yagbonwura, Tuntumba Boresa I, put his hand over his head and exclaimed, "this my son again?" The Nayiri of Mamprugu, Naa Bohugu Mahami Abudulai Sheriga II was short of words as he exclaimed "my son?"

One expected some world leaders to douche the flames with water but no it did not happen. When contacted, Antonio Guterres, The UN Secretary-General, brushed it off as nothing serious when he said, "this is Ghana they would overcome." The US President, Joe Biden gave a thumbs up and added "we back our man!" The Russian Tanker, Putin on the other hand murmerred "we shall see." XI Pin of China in his usual manner kept quiet

The battle line has been drawn. The Ghana Police is on high alert. Be careful not to be Damparized. All school children would go home. Parents should be on the lookout for their children. "Mr. Vice-Chancellor Campus is not safe!" apologies to Bekoe Mfodwo of Legon fame. Meanwhile the Lion is warned to stay away from the Balme Library since he had been set up for POND HIM! win or lose. Wo Sho#%@&^

NB: This is only meant to entertain - humor,
OPANIN KWABENA MENSAH