Dignity Over Desperation: Why Women Must Refuse To Settle

MARRIAGE, S*X AND SOUL TIES?

“Your face isn’t exactly a cover photo face oooh” My camera man said to me. Why not? I asked, raising an eyebrow…Ma’am you don’t even have makeup on, and remember we only came to verify the story about a side- chick who allegedly killed her boyfriend’s pregnant wife so the man could marry her instead. I stared at him and asked who made a rule that you need makeup to be on a cover page? He smiled and said “the society and culture we have come to accept as a norm ma’am… same reason why a pregnant wife was killed by a fellow woman …” And exactly the same reason why I am on your screen at this very moment flaunting my face unapologetically. Yes, Societal Pressure!

In today's world, many women often face unnecessary societal pressure to be married, as though their value or completeness depends on it, this is not only an unfair burden but also a deeply flawed mindset, the truth is. A woman's worth is not defined by her marital status but by the life she lives, the values she upholds, and the impact she makes on her family, community, country and the world in general.

Women, particularly those who are older and single, should never settle for a relationship devoid of love, respect, or emotional fulfillment simply because of external pressure, today we woke up to the news of a woman who allegedly poison her follow woman, ( a 3 months’ pregnant lady) simply because she must marry that man at any expense.

Ladies, instead of being consumed by societal timelines, you can, and should channel your time and energy into building your careers, increasing your financial independence, and more importantly, transferring your knowledge, wisdom, and life experiences to the younger generation.

Indeed, loving oneself is not selfish, it is necessary, life is a gift, and every woman deserves to live it to the fullest, with dignity, joy, and purpose, the idea that marriage is the ultimate goal for a woman undermines the many other meaningful paths she can take. It is important to remember that marriage was instituted by God and not man, as per the Bible. [“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” Genesis 2:24 ((NIV)]

This scripture is clear. A man leaves and cleaves. I stand corrected but, speaking as Ghanaian, the responsibility to initiate and build a marriage traditionally lies with the man, according to Biblical and cultural norms and not with the woman chasing after it, yes I do understand the difficulty of singleness particularly if a woman do not have tough skin and a supportive family nonetheless, that should not be an excuse for some women to succumbed to by all means necessary.

For those concerned about fertility and the biological clock, indeed it’s true that not everyone has the financial means for procedures like egg freezing, however, motherhood is not limited to biology, adoption is a beautiful, compassionate option, there are many children who need loving homes and parents who can nurture them.

I know by now you are thinking what about the sexual needs of the unmarried, well let me caution you about the harmful impact of prolonged use of sex toys in today's hyper-sexualized world, many men and women-married and unmarried who have turned to these toys for personal satisfaction, while often marketed as harmless or empowering, long term reliance on such devices can have significant emotional, psychological, and physiological downsides.

For men, extended use of high-intensity vibrational or mechanical stimulants can lead to desensitization over time because the body can become conditioned to the artificial sensations making it more difficult to experience pleasure through natural sexual intimacy with a partner, this can contribute to erectile dysfunction, reduced libido, and emotional detachment during real-life encounters.

For women, overdependence on S-toys especially those with excessive intensity can also lead to numbness, reduced sensitivity, and decreased arousal from human touch some women report becoming so accustomed to the speed and strength of artificial stimulation that they find it hard to climax naturally, this can disrupt genuine emotional and physical bonding in relationships besides, beyond the physical effects, I believe there may be some spiritual and relational cost.

Sexual intimacy was designed by God to be a sacred union between husband and wife, a space for trust, vulnerability, and connection, replacing that with machines or artificial means may gratify the body temporarily but often leaves the soul feeling emptier and more disconnected.

Instead of investing time, money, and energy into these fleeting satisfactions, it is far more productive to focus on personal growth, emotional healing, spiritual development, and building healthy relationships.

Let the single and older women stand firm in their identity, loved by God, filled with wisdom, and worthy of honor, Marriage is good but it is certainly not a measure of holiness or purpose, live intentionally, love cautiously, guard your values and know that your worth is eternal.