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04.06.2023 Feature Article

Who Cares Whether NDC Officials Go to EC Strongroom with “Digestive” or “Ingestive” Tuozaafi?

Who Cares Whether NDC Officials Go to EC Strongroom with Digestive or Ingestive Tuozaafi?
04.06.2023 LISTEN

If, indeed, Candidate-General John “Gnassingbe” Dramani Mahama could pay the widely reported bribery sum of some GH₵ 50 million (Fifty-Million Cedis) to buy off the votes of some 350,000 National Democratic Congress’ Delegates in the May 13, 2023 NDC’s Presidential and Parliamentary Primaries, then we can all be rest assured that short of a Rawlings-type of military intervention, there is absolutely no way that the Bole-Bamboi native, from the Akufo-Addo-created Savannah Region, will be in any shape or form poised to being comfortably or even narrowly returned to Jubilee House by the proverbial skin of his teeth.

If, indeed, the twice soundly defeated one-term accidental former President of the Dumsor Republic of Ghana were not clearly living somewhere up in the clouds and had, indeed, governed the country as competently and effectively as he has been running around the country smugly and narcissistically claiming, he would not have forked up such humongous amount of payola to, reportedly, get his party’s delegates to swamp the polling stations to cast their ballots for his third-consecutive and destined-to-fail Presidential Nomination. Instead, these party delegates would have themselves swamped the various polling stations around the country to vote for him. The fact of the matter is that even his own party delegates are not looking forward towards the “mistakes correcting” return of Okogufuo Yagbonwura Kwame Gonja to Jubilee House anytime soon. Which was why party boss Johnson Asiedu-Nketia had to thoroughly rig the party’s Delegates’ Register to ensure that a formidable challenger like Dr. Kwabena Duffuor did not pose a threat to the kleptocratic and hopelessly payola-addicted Ford Expedition scam-artist.

Anyway, at a recent internal electioneering-campaign rally at Ashaley-Botwe, an outer-district township in the Greater-Accra Metropolitan Area, Okogufuo Yagbonwura Kwame Gonja, as the former Atta-Mills’ Arch-Lieutenant is also widely and popularly known, was reported to have told party delegates that the NDC’s leadership was hellbent on ensuring victory in the 2024 General Election by hook or crook (See “2024 Election: NDC Officials Will Go to EC Strongroom with Their [Own] Tea and Digestive Biscuit – Mahama” Modernghana.com 4/20/23). Now, such delirious bluster cavalierly assumes that, somehow, the leadership of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) are going to sit duck or passive and idle, like wallflowers, while the double-salary thieves of the self-righteous faux-revolutionary political machine of the late Chairman Jeremiah “Jerry” John Rawlings took our entire country, literally, for a joke and a ride.

We have said this innumerable times before in the very recent past and, once again, repeat the same herein that Election 2024 is apt to be a fiercely fought contest between the relative job performance records of the country’s two major political parties. Which is why “Government Official Number Two,” as publicly exposed by a stalwart of Kwame Gonja’s own party, namely, Comrade Martin A B K Amidu, the former Akufo-Addo-appointed Independent Special Prosecutor, in what became globally infamously known as the “European Airbus Payola Racket” would be far better off collating and seriously attempting to match the legion social-intervention and national-development programs and achievements of the presently ruling New Patriotic Party, project-for-project, with any worthwhile national-development achievements of the rag-tag regimes of the National Democratic Congress, instead childishly presuming that he can, somehow, use some bizarre sort of “Zongo Bluster” to bully his way back to Jubilee House.

You see, Dear Reader, the tall order for Candidate-General “Gnassingbe” Dramani Mahama here is the very frightening fact that unlike the deliberate and criminal rigging of the National Democratic Congress’ Delegates’ Register that occurred during the party’s May 13, 2023, Presidential and Parliamentary Primaries, the man in charge will not be the pathologically scheming wiry-framed “General Mosquito,” the superannuated recent graduate of the Senior-Staff College of the Ghana Armed Forces. As well, the Candidate that the Ford Expedition Payola Solicitor will be facing will not be a rhetorically lethargic and gerontocratically mild-mannered and combat-fatigued or incapacitated Dr. Kwabena Duffuor, Sr. Rather, it will be a much younger and relatively better educated and much more intellectually robust and professionally astute and administratively competent Candidate Mahamudu Bawumia, an Oxbridge-educated wit with the kind of exposure to the global community in ways that would make Kwame Gonja seem like a back-alley truant or a hooky-playing kindergarten pupil in American speak or parlance.

And trust me, Dear Reader, there will be absolutely no contest here, whether the “Mosquito Gang” dispatches an entire battalion of NDC foot-soldiers or election monitors to the Strongroom of the Jean Adukwei Mensa-headed Independent Electoral Commission with a whole year’s supply of Digestive or Ingestive Tuozaafi or Amala with very thick Ogbono Soup. What is more, unlike the criminally pro-NDC vote-stealing and numbers-fudging Dr. Kwadwo Afari-Gyan, the Mahama-trophied and obscenely decorated former Chairperson of the Electoral Commission who, for 20-odd years routinely and deliberately inflated ballot figures in favor of the forensically certified Judicial Assassins of the National Democratic Congress, the astute and equanimous Akufo-Addo-appointed Mrs. Jean Adukwei Mensa really knows how to count and can also readily differentiate what constitutes “Undervoting” from “Overvoting.”

The latter enviable professional acumen of Ghana’s best qualified and most authoritative constitutional lawyer to head the Independent Electoral Commission, also well appears to be greatest and most formidable stumbling block in the way of a pathologically thievish and swashbuckling National Democratic Congress’ leadership. But on the latter count also, we cannot be the least bit sympathetic to these perpetually sworn bullies because their canker of incurably not being able to play fair and square with their most determined and redoubtable political opponents and the overwhelming majority of the Ghanaian electorate is wholly self-inflicted by these very unregenerate pack of hoodoo hoodlums themselves. Which is why we can only dare a gratuitously determined self-infatuated bully and politically primitive troglodyte like Okogufuo Yagbonwura Kwame Gonja to, by all means, be our guest.

*Visit my blog at: [email protected]

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., PhD
English Department, SUNY-Nassau
Garden City, New York
June 3, 2023
E-mail: [email protected]

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