Don’t let friends or the public dictate how you must live your life

Live your life your own most decent way possible but not according to the dictates of friends or the public.

Some Ghanaians want to live their lives succumbing to the requirements of their friends or townsfolk. They want to appear in a way acceptable to their friends or the public to avoid any possible ridicule.

People will say this or that, so I must make sure I appear in public the most admirable way acceptable to all, some Ghanaians think. This is very wrong.

Why can’t, and shouldn’t you, be yourself? Why should you force yourself to buy clothing that you normally can’t afford but because of “people will say”, you do whatever it takes to buy those expensive and well looking clothing?

Some people may be on health medications that may be letting them lose weight as a side effect, subsequently appearing a bit horrible in their outward looks but good to keep them alive. Should you stop taking those medications to look beautiful or handsome for the sake of what some people will talk about you, compromising your health to satisfy others?

The writer knows of people that are all more horrible looking in their dresses, physique and you just name it, and have never travelled abroad yet, they have time to discuss, and gossip about, people returning home on holidays. “This person doesn’t look like somebody that has ever travelled overseas. His or her dressing is not good. He/she has lost weight and is not looking nice”, they will say among other stupid things.

Should you go the extra mile to live a life in accordance with the dictates and expectations of others for their sake? Why must you live your life in conformity to the wishes and prescriptions of friends and family members but not according to your own wishes and means?

For what others will talk or gossip about you, you always want to endeavour to live a materialistic life satisfactory to them but in secret, discomforting to you. Be yourself, the writer may suggest to you.

If you appear neat, living within your means, never mind what the gossiping friends or public will say about you if you are not breaking any laws, be they moral, spiritual, or physical.

Living your life to appease the public is the genesis of the uncontrollable corruption in Ghana. People are making sure they buy clothes, eat better to appear nice to be talked better about and appreciated by their friends and the public hence will have to do whatever it takes to achieve that end.

Some women may choose to involve themselves in immoral practices while the men may take to armed robberies and other serious criminal activities all because they want to acquire wealth to live a life appreciable to the public and their friends.

Why can’t we live our lives according to our means and how it suits us personally? Why should you care about what someone will talk about you when really, you don’t have the means to live up to their expectation? Why can’t you cut your cloth according to the size of your material?

There may be less corruption, envy, and jealousy in the society if we lived a life according to our modest means as individuals but not to the dictates of friends and the public.

This view of the writer may be summed up by a quote from the Victorian philosopher John Stuart Mill. He wrote, “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them”.

If we avoid living an expensive life as may be dictated or wished by friends and the public but to live within our modest means, we shall forever be happy with ourselves and within our soul.

Yes, you have the right to emulate successful persons to better your life but not to live a life dictated by your friends or the public.

If you are happy to wear a minimum number of clothing that are washed and kept clean, so be it. Don’t force yourself to buy suitcases full of clothes just to make your friends and gossipers happy. Let them talk, for all you care!

The writer strongly admonishes Ghanaians to refrain from forcing people to dress a certain way in line with ongoing fashion or else, people will laugh at them. He who dresses differently modestly is accused of being “okuraseni”, to wit, an uncivilised bush person. Nonsense!

Live your life. Live the genuine life that suits you, be it modest or extravagant, provided it is how you want it but not forced to do it.

Ghanaians are fond of not only comparing people but mocking those that live moderate lives within their means.

In Ghana, if you steal to live in opulence, people will admire you. No wonder official corruption, embezzlements and malfeasances abound and keep ramifying.

Accord modest living people with the same or equal respect as you give to the extravagant ones most of whom indulge in corrupt practices.

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