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The Mirror of the Soul: Seeing Yourself in Others

By Victor Raul Puobabangna Plance
22 Feb 2025

What You See in Others Reflects What Dwells Within

By Victor Raul Puobabangna Plance from Eggu in the Upper West Region of Ghana

Have you ever met someone who made you feel angry, jealous, or unexpectedly inspired? What if I told you that those feelings aren’t really about them—they’re about you? The way we react to others is like looking into a mirror, reflecting our deepest emotions, hidden fears, and the parts of ourselves we may not fully understand. The world around us isn’t just a stage—it’s a reflection of what’s within. And when we embrace this truth, we unlock the door to profound self-discovery and healing.

As the ancient proverb goes, “The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” Our reactions to others are not just about their actions or words—they’re about how we interpret them through the lens of our own experiences, fears, and desires.

Have you ever felt annoyed by someone who seemed too confident or self-assured? Maybe every time they spoke, frustration or discomfort surged within you. It’s easy to blame them, but what if the real issue lies within? Our reactions to others often mirror our own insecurities, fears, or unresolved emotions. When we pause and ask, “Why does this bother me so much?” we uncover valuable insights about ourselves. This moment of self-awareness can shift our perspective, transforming how we see both others and ourselves.

For me, photography has been one of those mirrors. I love taking pictures because they’re more than just images—they heal me. They carry me through my darkest moments, past and present, and possibly future. Often, I share these pictures with the hashtag #NingsaalaPuobabangna, which means “You don’t know what’s in someone’s stomach.” In my language, it’s a way of saying that everyone carries unseen struggles.

Not everyone understands this. Some ridicule my posts, accusing me of oversharing or seeking attention. Others whisper behind my back—sometimes even those I once considered close. What they don’t see are the silent battles I fight, the struggles I don’t speak about or display in public. These struggles are mine alone, often waged in the quiet, lonely hours of the night.

But these pictures are more than mere snapshots. They capture the progress I’ve made, the battles I’ve won, and the reasons I must keep pushing forward. They freeze moments of happiness, sorrow, and everything in between. More than anything, they remind me that I am more than my struggles.

So, the next time you see someone doing something you don’t understand—whether it’s posting pictures, wearing a certain hairclass, or making choices that don’t sit well with you—remember, you don’t have to like it. Just respect that they have their reasons. Not everything is meant for you to understand, but everything deserves respect.

As Rumi once said, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” This is the essence of the mirror principle: when we change how we see ourselves, the world around us transforms.

Think of your emotions like ripples on water. The ripples might seem to come from the outside, but they actually start from within. Calm the waters inside, and the ripples will fade. Here’s what your reactions to others might reveal about you:

It means you carry happiness within. Joy isn’t something borrowed—it’s something already inside you. When you can smile at a stranger, it shows you’re at peace with yourself.

It signals unresolved struggles. Ask yourself—does this person remind you of something from your past? What lesson are you avoiding?

It means you’ve momentarily forgotten your own blessings. Jealousy whispers that something is missing, but the truth is, you already have so much. Take time to count your blessings.

It means you see potential in yourself. Appreciating someone else’s success without bitterness shows you believe in your own ability to grow.

It means you have wounds that need healing. Their happiness might remind you of something you’ve lost, or their presence might stir old pain. These feelings are an invitation to heal, not to suffer.

You’re holding onto the past. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. To free yourself, learn to forgive.

It means you’re ready to grow. When someone’s story motivates you, it’s a sign that you’re on the edge of your own breakthrough. Let their success guide you, not discourage you.

It means your heart is open. Love isn’t just about romance—it’s about kindness, connection, and seeing the good in others. When you feel warmth toward someone, it shows you’re in tune with the best part of yourself.

It means you’ve stopped truly seeing. Indifference closes your heart. Real living comes from feeling, even when it’s hard.

It means you’ve found balance within yourself. When you can look at others without judgment, it shows you’ve made peace with who you are.

It means you’re holding onto old wounds. Fear is a sign of pain that hasn’t healed. Instead of letting it control you, try to understand it and let it go.

It means you see value in others and in yourself. True appreciation comes from knowing that life isn’t a competition—it’s a journey we’re all on together.

The good news is, we don’t have to remain trapped in our initial reactions. We can change how we see others by changing ourselves. Start by practicing gratitude—focus on what you have, not what you lack. Gratitude shifts your mindset from “I don’t have enough” to “I have so much.”

Heal old wounds by talking to someone you trust, writing in a journal, or spending time in nature. Pain from the past can distort how we see the world, but healing helps us see clearly again.

Practice compassion by remembering that everyone is fighting battles you cannot see. When you feel the urge to judge someone, pause and ask: What might they be going through?

Choose love over fear. Where there is love, there is no room for anger, jealousy, or resentment. Let love guide how you treat others and yourself.

As Maya Angelou wisely said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The way we see and treat others is a reflection of how we see and treat ourselves.

When you look at someone else, you’re not just seeing them—you’re seeing yourself. Look closely, and you’ll find the keys to your own growth and happiness.

A wise old man once sat by a river, watching the water flow. A young man approached, frustrated by the people in his life. “Why do they bother me so much?” he asked. The old man picked up a stone and tossed it into the river. “Tell me,” he said, “do the ripples come from the stone or the water?” The young man paused, then smiled. “The water,” he replied. “Exactly,” said the old man. “The ripples are not about the stone—they’re about the water. And your reactions are not about others—they’re about you.”

You don’t have to heal all at once. Start by noticing one emotion at a time. When you feel anger, ask yourself why. When you feel joy, savor it. Each small step brings you closer to understanding yourself and others.

As Lao Tzu said, “Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your destiny.”

And as the Buddha taught, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

The next time you feel a strong emotion toward someone, pause and ask yourself: What is this mirror showing me? Then, take one small step toward healing or growth—whether it’s forgiving someone, counting your blessings, or simply choosing kindness. Remember, the reflection you see today can become the masterpiece you create tomorrow.

Question to Ponder
What if every person you meet is a teacher, and every emotion you feel is a lesson? What would your reactions today teach you about yourself?

Think of one person who triggers strong emotions in you. What do those emotions say about you?

#Puobabangna

I am Victor Raul Puobabangna Plance, a development professional and storyteller from Eggu in Ghana’s Upper West Region. With experience in WASH, public health, emergency response, and community development, I’ve worked with organizations like Catholic Relief Services and World Vision Int

Disclaimer: "The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect ModernGhana official position. ModernGhana will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements in the contributions or columns here."

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