Epistles of the Heart: Finding Love in a Fractured World - PART 4 (Letter 3: To the Selfish Hearts)

Dear Selfish Hearts,

I see you everywhere—on glowing screens, in whispered conversations, in the carefully curated versions of love you present to the world. You speak of love, but your words are hollow. You wear masks of affection, yet behind your charming smiles and well-timed compliments, love is nothing more than a strategy. You hold hands, but only as long as it serves your needs. You promise forever, but only until something more convenient comes along.

What has love become in your hands? A currency? A game? A means to an end? You measure love in gifts, status, and appearances. You claim to want connection, yet you fear the very thing that makes love real—selflessness.

You say love has no conditions, yet you impose them at every turn. You judge love by financial worth, by race, by beauty, by status, by age, by what someone can offer. You reject kind souls because they do not fit your ideal. You swipe past genuine hearts because they lack the social currency you desire. You chase perfection but ignore depth. And in doing so, you miss out on the very essence of love—its ability to see beyond the surface.

I have known you before. You made me believe I was special, only to treat me as replaceable. You called it “not being ready” or “needing time,” but the truth was simpler: I was never truly chosen. I was just a placeholder, a safety net, an option among many. You strung me along, took my love, my time, my devotion—without ever intending to give the same in return.

You taught me what emotional manipulation looks like. The guilt trips. The silent treatments. The half-truths spoken to keep me hopeful but uncertain. You took my kindness and used it as leverage, knowing I would always try harder, always forgive, always stay. You made love feel like something I had to earn, instead of something freely given.

And then, there’s money. Love, the purest of human emotions, has been assigned a price tag. You chase stability, not love. You measure partners by their wallets, not their hearts. You expect love to be proven through gifts, through extravagant gestures, through financial security. But love that is bought is not love at all. It is a transaction—one that crumbles the moment a better offer appears.

Despite everything, I do not regret loving you. I loved you with a full heart, and though you took more than you gave, I do not wish you harm. Instead, I wish you growth. I hope you wake up one day and realize that the love you have been searching for cannot be found in power, wealth, beauty, or control.

I hope you learn that love is not about winning, possessing, or taking—it is about giving, without fear, without calculation, without a hidden agenda. That real love is not found in grand performances, but in quiet, consistent acts of care.

And when that day comes, I hope you choose differently. I hope you choose love in its purest form—not for what it can give you, but for the beauty of what it can be.

With hope for your awakening,

A Heart That Still Believes in Love

I am Victor Raul Puobabangna Plance, a development professional and storyteller from Eggu in Ghana’s Upper West Region. With experience in WASH, public health, emergency response, and community development, I’ve worked with organizations like Catholic Relief Services and World Vision Int

Disclaimer: "The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect ModernGhana official position. ModernGhana will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements in the contributions or columns here."

   Comments0

More From Author