Through My Own Lens

There is no single time—I mean, not a single time—I open TikTok and don’t see a video about patriarchy, feminism, marriage, or religion. As easy as it is to just pick up your phone and voice your opinions, some people simply don’t fully understand the entire topic. They end up spewing nonsense, especially when it comes to patriarchy-related issues. This piece explores patriarchy in an unbiased way, regardless of the writer’s gender or background. Patriarchy is basically a system in which men are given more opportunities than women. When discussing matters related to patriarchy in the current societal context, some individuals include elements of misogyny and misandry, which prevent real, productive discussions. I sometimes ask myself, isn’t the goal to attain equality and inclusivity? Then why do we see gender wars on social media? Often, these conflicts are fueled by people who generalize their personal experiences from their marriages or relationships.

History
This system established specific roles for men and women. Men were expected to be breadwinners, protect their families, make decisions, and fight wars, while women were assigned the roles of caretakers, cooking, cleaning, washing, and raising children. This division of traditional roles seemed fair until some parts of society recognized the limitations it placed on women’s lives. The patriarchal system regarded women as less than men and denied them rights such as voting, holding office, access to formal education, equal pay, property ownership, and even freedom to choose partners. The severity of this system made it impossible for women to pursue ambitions; political spaces, law, medicine, and business were primarily male domains, while domestic work was designated for women.

As the Ugandan proverb says, “A tree cannot stand forever in the storm.” In Greece, where women couldn’t vote, Plato—a philosopher from ancient Athens—advocated for women’s representation in governance, arguing that women should be equal to men. This idea was not widely accepted. Roman consul Marcus Cato expressed his fears with the remark, “As soon as they become equals, they will become your superiors!” This statement highlights how patriarchy persisted for so long. But ask yourself, isn’t it easier to ensure equality when absolute power is in your hands? It was never seen that way. In the fifteenth century, women writers and philosophers like Christine de Pizan, Mary Wollstonecraft, and Margaret Cavendish protested misogyny and called for women’s representation. This fight continued over time until countries like the United States, New Zealand, Australia, Finland, the United Kingdom, finally granted women the right to vote.

It’s often said, “when rain beats the roof, every hand becomes a builder.” During the Great Depression, more women entered workplaces after breadwinners (men) lost their jobs, and this was when the gap widened for women to work. Consider this as just ten percent of the patriarchal history.

What we see now
Undeniably, significant progress has been made. Today, Gen Z and Gen Alpha are growing up in a system where women are valued, take leadership roles, influence decisions, and participate actively in nearly every sector. This means they’ll work and coexist with men without the mindset of Marcus Cato’s “...they will become your superiors.” This is a very promising change. Currently, efforts focus on empowering women, which is encouraging. Countries like Mexico, Dominica, Moldova, Ireland, Malta, Namibia, Tanzania, Slovenia, and even Ghana are witnessing women rise to leadership roles. Women are excelling in fields like education, healthcare, law, and engineering.

However, when you see certain social media posts, it’s clear there’s misandry. Some women don’t even understand the full concept of patriarchy and what’s actually being pushed. They just lump all men as bad people who don’t want women to succeed. But we’ve seen how some fathers today prioritize their daughters’ education—encouraging them to pursue law, engineering, medicine, or even join the military. While that’s a fundamental responsibility of a father, ask yourself: did fathers in earlier times even prioritize their daughters? If we’re honest, shouldn’t we promote this instead of fueling gender wars?

In Marriages
Marriage is arguably the core center of patriarchy, especially in Africa. Patriarchy teaches women that marriage measures their worth. Society shames women in their late thirties or forties if they’re unmarried but never criticizes their level of education. This isn’t to endorse societal standards but to recognize how women of those times lacked ambition because marriage was seen as the ultimate trophy, leaving little room for choice. I firmly believe if women then had equal rights, marriage wouldn’t be the only option for most women. There would be options and choices. Today, not all women prioritize marriage; many focus on education, business, research, or self-improvement, making marriage just one of several options. Modern marriages often feature a 50/50 split in responsibilities, reflecting agreements between partners. For example, if a husband’s income isn’t enough for bills, he might handle household chores like cooking, cleaning, and washing. These roles—once solely for women—are now based on mutual agreement, recognizing that men work hard and can’t manage everything alone. Similar agreements can govern decisions about childbirth, welfare, or even changing surnames. Women experiencing abusive homes should leave—so, agreements should be made before marriage, and leaving an unhealthy marriage can be an act of reclaiming freedom.

Social media users should stop channeling their bitterness into unnecessary gender wars. As I mentioned earlier, many brothers, fathers, and husbands are genuinely supporting women in achieving their goals. True progress can’t happen when both genders are actively participating in every societal space. Regarding concerns about rape, abuse, or assault, we should press for justice and security systems to protect women and deliver unbiased justice—irrespective of how women dress or behave. Men should also use their strength to advocate for women’s protection and serve as checks on other men who abuse women.

Conclusion
To end this piece on an endless topic , taking a camera just to spew demeaning comments about the opposite gender won’t solve anything. Despite all efforts, one question remains: can full equality ever truly be achieved?

Source of historical information used in this article : https://www.history.com/articles/feminism-womens-history

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