The Mystery of Fathers And Their Daughters

It has been a traditional belief, especially in many African cultures that sons are more superior than daughters. Because of this limiting belief, men who have daughters only were made to feel inferior and pressurised to the point of getting children from outside marriage in search of a son.

This is a false belief and was put in place most probably by inferior men who thought that be-littling women will make them feel better. This belief is no different from xenophobia, and results from low self-esteem and not feeling good about one’s self. In general, the source of any thought that be-little another human being is usually low self-confidence or fear.

Here are some points worth noting:

• Before God, men and women are equal, actually every person is equal. So having a daughter or son does not matter as far a God is concerned. After all a child is a gift from God. Gal 3:28 says, 'There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.' Gender is a physical phenomenon that is invalid spiritually. In heaven or rather in the spirit there is no gender. If you are heavenly minded, gender is not a big deal!
• The male genes control the gender of the child, that is, the sperm carries the genes that determine whether the child will be a boy or girl. So changing women does not change your chance of having daughters.
• Men who reject their daughters in preference of a son, not only to they deny their daughter a blessing, but by bringing an illegitimate son they also bring a curse to thems elf. A good lesson is Abraham. The descendent of the illegitimate son, up to today are still fighting Abraham’s descendant/seed. If you look closely most boys who came as a result of the father ‘searching for a boy’ end up having personal issues in life. It is better to have a blessed daughter than a son from a cursed relationship.
• In life, I have discovered that everything that you do not choose is part of your calling. For example your race, family, origin, physical features etc. God made that way and put you where you are for a purpose. He gave you daughters or sons for a purpose. Who knows one of them will become the saviour of nations through her gifts. Your duty as the parent is to raise your children according to God’s instructions. God gave you daughters or sons for a purpose. Find that purpose!

So, love your children regardless of sex, abilities, disabilities, physical features, etc. Each of these was designed and put in place for a reason.

You daughter needs you. In her book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know , Doctor Meg Meeker found out that the involvement of fathers in daughters’ lives, providing warmth and control results in:

• Increase likelihood of achievement of higher academic success.
• Daughter exhibiting less anxiety and withdrawn behaviours.
• Less likelihood that daughters engage in premarital sex, drug use, and alcohol.
• Significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low
  self-esteem, substance abuse, and unhealthy weight.

Ask God to help you to see and accept what he has given you. Align your expectations with God’s plans, not what you or the society think.

About Taka Sande:
Taka Sande is an author, an entrepreneur and development activist. He has a passion for making a difference by influencing and adding value to people’s lives. He is the founder of the blog It’s My Footprint, http://www.itsmyfootprint.com /. You can also follow him on Twitter , Facebook and LinkedIn .