Dealing With Disappointments And Broken Hearts

Human beings are hardwired to exude various emotions and love is the most preferred. The pursuits of this beautiful emotion as it were, have led to the demise of both great and small and have left others in tatters. Is there such a thing as heart break?

A heart that is functioning properly will put God's spin on all of life's circumstances resulting in increased peace and joy. Love stirs up hope and thankfulness. Love stirs up faith which is the vehicle that brings the payload of miracles.

SOME POSSIBLE CAUSES OF DISAPPOINTMENTS

• Wrong associations and unequal yoking
• Wrong assumptions about each other
• Preconceived notions and ideas of relationships
• High expectations
• Lack of advice
• Sexual immorality
• Misunderstanding of people's roles in our life
• Lack of friendship before sexual involvement

THE 'AGE SPIKE' SYNDROME
We each have a grand plan for our life based on age. Fancy this sequel of a grandiose constructed plan…

In my teens, I'll get into a good college or get a good job.

In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.

By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.

In my thirties, I will be married and have two beautiful children.

In my forties, I'll be running the company for which I've been working.

In my fifties, I'll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.

In my sixties, I'll retire and travel the world.

Sound familiar? So what happens when things don't go as expected? The Bible in Proverbs 13:12 says that 'Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life'.What happens when instead of two children in our thirties, we end up with our hearts in tatters? We feel broken; not only is our heart shattered, so too is our self-perception.

Bursting Fears In Relationships
Fear of aging without a life partner. Creates panic, which sometimes forces us to settle for less and compromise our beliefs, conviction, etc.

Hope in the fact that you have many friends, because out of these, one of them is likely to be your life partner.

Fear of our own inadequacies. Almost all of us have had experiences which have left us feeling less than perfect. These negative experiences are adding to and enriching us with the way not to do things next time.

Hope knowing that whatever you have been through, others have also so you are not alone. In fact, you could learn a thing or two from them.

Your acceptance of yourself and self -value will determine your resilience to adversity.

Hope: I have never, ever seen a case where someone who has embraced the changes in their life did not end up happier. You will too. Keep in mind that your past relationship(s) were not a waste of time. For many, they provided growth, sometimes beautiful children, and although it may not seem so, some good memories. Everything that has happened has made you who you are today and ahead awaits an even greater experience.

Remember: Please, please, please do not restrict your dreams. Your visions do not wish to be bound- especially to the confines of age. Age only matters if we allow it to matter. Dream bigger, dream brighter, set your dreams free today.

HEALING A BROKEN HEART
There’s no question that break-ups can be painful, and that it’s difficult to trust and love again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here are some advices for healing the heartbreak:

• In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love.
• Sometimes, the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a break-up is about you, not your ex.
• Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.
• Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the break-up, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won’t move on until you’ve accepted that the relationship is over.
• Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like 'nightmare', 'terrible' and 'horrible', you are bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.
• Learn to trust again. Remember, love is a beautiful thing; do not let one or more debauched love relationship rob you of its beauty and joy. Go ahead, be bold, love yourself and love again.

*The writer is the CEO of 360 Degrees Foundation, Night Of The Arts and a Life Coach

Ps Mrs Demay Alabi
demayalabi@gmail.com