Review: A Mixed Bag

Recently the Rotary Club of Accra East partnered a number of other organisations to tell us Accra Goes To The Opera. It was a great show, featuring the Accra Symphony Orchestra and Lumina. I've heard them perform, these two groups of musicians, and I am a fan. Please go back and read Valentines, Innit, one of the earliest posts on this blog.

After an abridged performance of Rigoletto, and a mighty impressive vocal performance it was too, we ended the evening with a performance of what they called operatic pop. Two songs stood out of a truly powerful performance. They sang an inspiring version of You Raise Me Up, a song that is already inherently inspirational. This version was roof-raising! Dare I say it was better than the original? The second song was their version of Osibisa's Welcome Home. Always a crowd pleaser this song, but again Lumina sang it with that little bit of extra something. Hugely enjoyable!!

More Old DVDs

One of the best comedies ever has to be the movie Airplane. This is one of the daftest things on screen and I am not even sure what to comment on. Just the tiniest of examples:

Doctor-What is it we had for dinner tonight?

Stewardess-Well, we had a choice: steak or fish.

Doctor-Yes, I remember. I had lasagna.

I read somewhere that Airplane has more jokes per minute than any other movie. It sure feels like it.

The movie Parenthood has to be one of the most pleasurable means of learning about parenting. It's a lovely movie, truly. It's warm, sad, poignant, insightful, touching, emotional, and hilarious. Oh, and it has some of the cutest children you will ever see in a movie. And a pinata that needs to be sawn open! And a grandma with some of the best lines ever in a movie! She even plays Nintendo! If you want to smile; if you are a parent; if you hope to become a parent.... watch Parenthood. And it all ends with lots of babies.

In The Line Of Fire is a great thriller. Action packed, a very cool script based on some history....and Clint Eastwood. He's a Republican in the USA and I really didn't like the way he came out against Obama; so I can't stand him anymore. On the other hand John Malkovich makes an excellent villain who kills without compunction (which makes for some brutal murders). Rene Russo is a fellow Secret Service Agent as well as love interest: "If she looks back that means she's interested." The tension and suspense in this movie is palpable. By the by, there is a building in this movie that looks exactly like our proposed National Cathedral here in Ghana.

I also watched Goodfellas again recently. Probably the best gangster movie ever. "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." Enough said. Almost every single scene is iconic.

Does anyone remember a Peter Sellers movie called After The Fox? Incredibly silly comedy, and a classic! "If I could only steal enough to become an honest man!" Peter Sellers is great, as usual, and just confirmed what I have always thought: that man should have been immortal! And this was around the time he made The Return Of The Pink Panther, the best of the series.

If you are not married do NOT watch The War Of The Roses. This film should only be watched by people who have already endured, sorry, enjoyed marriage. "A man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love or revenge." And the immortal lines: "Have you ever made angry love?" "Is there any other way?" This film is a classic black comedy and is brutal in it's portrayal of a marriage gone wrong. "How do you hold onto someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?"

People

I heard somewhere recently that no one is pure evil. If you wait long enough they will show you their good side; just be patient. Really?

Begging Children

I was upset recently while sitting in my car waiting for a bank branch to open in the morning. It was around 8am and a group of school children were passing by. They approached my car and the oldest-looking one said, "Good morning". How nice. Then they moved on, or so I thought. Next thing I know the smallest one is back at my window saying, "Dash me one Cedi". I believe in giving alms but I refuse to give begging children purely on principle. Very depressing to have a child in school uniform begging at my window at 8am.

Bad Organ

Do you know the hymn Love Divine, All Loves Excelling? It's hymn number 520 in the Anglican Prayer Book. It's actually quite popular in this country and is especially used at weddings, even mine. I love singing it in church, and I got quite excited to hear it announced at Mass the other day. I stood up ready to belt it out, when suddenly the organist played it like it was a dirge! Ebei, ebei, ebei, and ebei again! What a disappointment! Why?? It deflated me completely and I left Mass feeling depressed! Oh, and it was one of my Mum's favourites as well.

Speaking of Mass, what does it feel like when the priest mentions names as he delivers communion ("Kwesi, the body of our Lord"), but he doesn't mention your name? I hasten to add that he actually does mention me by name, but I refer to those who are not mentioned by name. Is it upsetting? Do they feel neglected? Is there a nagging fear that if the priest doesn't know your name then maybe God doesn't either??

Flying Chicken

Speaking of Mass again, a chicken attacked my car on the way to Mass the other day. It's true. I was on the Ridge Church road when out of nowhere I saw an angry chicken in full flight just ahead of me. I saw it just as it collided with the front right side of my car, and I swear there was nothing on the road ahead of me. So why my car and why the anger? What makes a white cockerel lose its temper? And couldn't it tell I was being good by going to church? So I prayed on the chicken and even attempted speaking in tongues....but it came out sounding like a chicken clucking.

Taxi Drivers In Ghana

How certain are we that the Almighty created Ghanaian taxi drivers?

Makeup Again

What is it with you women and false eyelashes? I've seen two examples recently that just made my eyes feel like giving up on life. The Naija singer Di'ja, a very pretty woman with some great songs, has some videos where her eyelashes threaten to come through the screen and stab you! Ebei! And I like her! The second is a Ghanaian actress who has recently appeared on some billboards. Also very beautiful (and I like her too, a lot), but you suddenly notice these prominent eye lashes looking at you. And they are looking at you rudely! Two fine women trying to look less fine. Why?? Women! Why do I even bother??

Okada Rider

I must admit I have never used an Okada to move around Accra. But I've often wondered what it would be like to sit behind an Okada rider....who has body odour. I really wonder....would you be able to hold your breath for the duration of the journey? That sounds really smelly and death-defying! Do you ever physically hold on to an Okada rider? How does that work if the man is smelling?? And those who have crash helmets? You absolutely need to wear a helmet on a motorcycle. But do you know how many people have used that particular helmet? And what unknown creatures you might be putting on your head??

The Look

Have you ever heard of The Look? This question is directed at married men because The Look is directed almost exclusively at us. The Look is a look wives use when they are displeased with their husbands, or sometimes just to mess us up. It usually involves a narrowing of the eyes, pursing your lips (so the poor man thinks you want to kiss him), raising one eyebrow, and rotating your head. All this combines to give The Look to a pathetic unsuspecting husband. In extreme cases the husband falls down dead. Seriously.

In ordinary day-to-day usage the husband simply becomes confused and gives in to whatever his wife wants, even if he is not sure exactly what it is. Apparently wives have been utilising The Look for hundreds of years. Did you know that The Look is the reason brides wear veils on their wedding day? The veil tries (sometimes unsuccessfully) to prevent the laser-like stare which constitutes The Look because it can weaken the husband and render him....impotent. Seriously.

Foolish Fruit

I usually drop my daughter at school in the morning. We chat all the way there with the exception of those mornings when we are snubbing each other. The other day we discussed fruit and their level of stupidity. We agreed that there must be wise fruit and dense fruit (dense as in thick). We also agreed that if fruit had brains pawpaw and mango would be the most stupid of all fruit. So the next time you see us going to school and we are chatting in the car....