Lost Children To “good” Education & Alien Cultures Train Their Parents Abroad

There is nothing worse than losing your culture and your children at the same time to alien behavior that eviscerates whatever good is left in your way of life. It is so insidious, by the time rich parents realize what they have spent most, if not all the money they had from sweat, blood and tears, it is too late. No other Continent spends as much money selling out their cultures and children as Africans.

If you do not learn from your culture, your children will train you for others'. The first casualty of these children is their mothers that are the favorites willing to accommodate their tendencies in order to assimilate them into a new more “civilized” culture than those of Africa. It is not different from how we became the only Continent without widely accepted indigenous religion while we adopted Western and Eastern religions.

Mothers are very precious. They are our first call as little children in time of need and solace. So it is not surprising that they are the ones called overseas to take care of grandchildren or are sent tickets for vacation to see the outside world. Usually, the fathers are left at home because they are not as useful overseas for babysitting or helping with chores at home. The mothers cannot watch the hustling and bustling overseas and not pity their children.

When the fathers go on holiday with his own money, he is more relaxed. But not on the tickets of the children. The last time he saw the children could have been when they came home on vacation. Though he had spent most of his savings on the children, it is the mother that takes more credits. While out working for the family, the mother is bonding with the children. There is an awkward distance unless fathers spend quality time with their children while growing up.

The point here is that the father no longer commands the awe he did in his home or his country. When told that they saw his uncle shopping at the market alone, the father’s nephew would explain that his wife had gone abroad to take care of the grandchildren. After all, he sent his children abroad to get a “good” education, not him. Cutting his nose to spite his face. So who would help him out at home?

There is nothing wrong with learning new skills, language or culture but there is everything wrong with how we use them. Our earlier Activists and conscientious Independence fighters, learned how to fight the colonial opportunists with their own language, law and the Freedom they preach but deny others. Africans soldiers fought in World War I and II for the Freedom they were denied at home.

Indeed, colonial opportunists learned African languages and learned some of the cultures of the people they conquered in order to steal African natural resources and talents. They had to demonize African cultures in order to make theirs attractive as the better alternative. We are now at a stage where we use all our savings, sell properties to travel abroad for a fresh start at the bottom of the ladder. Enough to start a small business at home but not last a month abroad.

Gradual training of parents starts with parents clearing the dining table and washing their own dishes or clothes. A situation that cannot be husband's task in Nigeria. Within a family, the responsibilities of the youngest kid in the family to that of the father and mother are clear and indisputable. A recent case went viral on social media when the youngest kid in the family revolted against the brothers and sister, saying that he was not their slave.

The road to the breakdown of respect within climbs higher to the father in Diaspora. A childhood friend hated washing dishes so much, he swore that once he left home he would never wash dishes again. A couple of years after high school, he went abroad for college and later got married to a foreigner. He found himself washing dishes again until his children got older. He strictly enforced the training he got in Africa.

One of our moneybags visited one of his children that he had spent a fortune training abroad. He was shocked when his own grown child told him to clear and wash his own plate. Needless to say, he stopped paying the fees and boarding. In those days, students abroad worked to pay school fees and rent. Yet, we never asked our parents to wash their dishes or clothes when they visited us.

What changed is acculturation that has overtaken the African way of life. It is not about washing your own dishes or clothes, a simple action that can be performed by anyone. But respect and acceptance of one another to further amicable coexistence within social animals, not only humans. Once the simple task within families breaks down, it leads to domino's effect extending beyond families.

There are some powerful women that insisted on cooking for their husbands despite available househelps and cooks. Former British Prime, Margaret Thatcher enjoyed making breakfast for her husband. So did Dora Akunyili and the billionaire Folunrunsho Alakija until their recent separation. In Diaspora, her children might “train” her to stop cooking for her husband. Most husbands outside their homes are like a fish outside of water.

There is a certain respect we show one another out of courtesy, not because our elders are lame or infirm. A wife who enjoys cooking and serving her husband may not be happy if he refuses to eat. On our first day at one job, our boss told us there was no task he could not perform. But if he asked any of us to perform a task and we would not do it satisfactorily, he would do the task himself. The hint was enough for a wise employee.

Some of us were surprised that Europeans, Americans and Asians, unlike some Africans and African Americans in the Diaspora, respect the head of the families. This is why you rarely see the white women or Asians call the Police on their husbands as often as Black's in the Diaspora. The fact is, the only place Black men have as much respect at home as Europeans, white Americans and Asians; is in Africa!