GOLF - FROM THE MUNDANE TO THE HILARIOUS
7/7/2012 11:57:24 AM -
My fellow golfers and future golfers:
Many years in the sport, observations, challenges and tribulations, have lead me to write this book to assist my brothers and sisters in this "most noble" of games. I believe my new book gives valuable tips and insider information gained through my years of struggle and experience. Though I will move back to the U.S. soon, I wanted to share the writing with my Ghanaian golfing partners.
Below is an outline of my works.
Chapter 1 - How to Properly and Precisely Line Up
Your Fourth PUTT
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a NIKE from the Rough When You Have Hit a TITLEIST From the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the WATER When You Lie 8 in a BUNKER
Chapter 4 - How to Get More DISTANCE Off the SHANK
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Course Ranger an Obcene Jesture, i.e. the FINGER.
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the GREENS to Maximize EARNINGS
Chapter 7 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m. *** I prefer a couple of TOTS of Jack Daniels Tennessee Whisky !!!
Chapter 8 - When To Implement HANDICAP Management
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round* Ref. Chapters 1 thru 4,7,13 & 14
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That EVERYONE ELSE Saw Go in the WATER
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You BIRDIED # 5
Chapter 12 - Using Cursewords Creatively to Control Ball Flight
Chapter 13 - When to Allow a FOURSOME to Play Through Your TWOSOME
Chapter 14 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting (5) Off the TEE
Chapter 15 - When to Suggest Major Swing Changes to Your Opponent
Chapter 16 - GOD and the Meaning of the "BIRDIE-to-BOGEY THREE-PUTT"
Chapter 17 - Throwing Your Clubs --- An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique
Chapter 18 - When to Regrip Your BALL RETRIEVER
Chapter 19 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay 4 Cedis per Beer From the CART GIRL 'AND' Give Her a 3 Cedi Tip, BUT will balk at 3 Cedis per Beer at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Waiter/Bartender.
FINAL CHAPTER -QUESTION: CAN YOU PURCHASE A PERFECT GOLF GAME? (YES/NO)
***** IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES---- PLEASE SEND 100 GH CEDIS CASH TO RICHARD WHITE for "THE REST OF THE BOOK" or Email Appropriate Credit Card INFO to "firstname.lastname@example.org"
*****IF YOUR ANSWER IS NO ---- CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE A SERIOUS GOLFER AND WOULD BE WELL SERVED TO INVEST THE 100 GH CEDIS IN LESSONS FROM AN ACCOMPLISHED GHANA PGA TEACHING PROFESSIONAL AT YOUR GOLF CLUB.
Good luck in your golfing experience and I wish you all FAIRWAYS and GREENS.
Member Achimota Golf Club
& Former PGA of America Apprentice Club Professional