10 Things Guys Don't Want You to KnowWoman often tell themselves that they need to keep some secrets from their men. Well, the inverse is true as well. There are certain things that your woman should never find out about you. For instance, she doesn't need to know about the hot girl who works at your office, and you don't want her to know that you cried for a week after your ex dumped you flat.
After all, you always need to maintain some leverage in your relationship. And as soon as your lady has all the goods on you, the power distribution will have shifted dramatically. Furthermore, keeping some information to yourself might help keep her honest, and it saves you from the risk of public embarrassment.
Here are the top 10 things your gal should never know about you. Keep this valuable info to yourself, but remember this: If your woman can potentially find out about any of the following from another source, you might as well give it up right now. If she discovers any of your little secrets by means of an alternate party, you'll have to deal with her crap over both the information in question and the fact that you tried to cover it up.
10. Your conquest count
Look, you know how many chicks you've bagged and it's probable that some of your friends do, too. But that's where this circle of info should close. It's not necessary to give your current lover a running tally of conquests. Sure, you both want to be safe when it comes to sex. And I encourage you to get yourself tested to prove to both her and yourself that you're clean (of course, she should do the same). But there's no need to divulge numbers — doing so will upset her and put you at risk of spending the night alone.
9. Your income
As a relationship progresses, it is natural that a couple grows familiar with each other's finances. But in the early stages of dating, there is a very sound and reasonable argument for playing your personal monetary value close to the vest. Two words: gold diggers. You could have the bank account of Donald Trump or the debts of Mike Tyson; either way, she shouldn't know. Let her dig you for you first. Then, if you're flush, you can buy her the stuff she likes and such. And if you're broke, she'll either ditch you because you don't buy her stuff, or she'll prove that she's a worthy character by sticking with you. So keep your Benjamins to yourself.
8. The location of your porn stash
Guys like porn. A lot of chicks do, too. There's no sense, however, in mixing up your fantasy world with the real one. As soon as your lady gets wind that you have a porn stash, there's a good chance that she'll be crying about how she has to compete with Jenna Jameson whenever she sleeps with you. And man, you do not need that kind of stress every time you want to get it on. Worse still, she could get all crazy and throw out your collection when you aren't looking. Protect your porn, and keep it under wraps.
7. Your weaknesses
Maybe you cry during insurance commercials, or maybe you aren't really as self-confident as you make yourself out to be in public. These frailties don't matter — as long as she never finds out about them. If she does, she'll start making all sorts of "cute" jokes at your expense. Or the revelation that her man isn't quite the man that she thought he was will put her off of you entirely. Be strong and keep your weaknesses undercover.
6. Your strip club experiences
Do you like going to peeler bar? Enjoy watching the ladies dance around erotically for your pleasure? Want to maintain the strip club as an open option for an evening's entertainment? Then do not tell your woman that you go there. Don't even concede that you used to go regularly. She'll want to know why you like it, and how much you spend on "tips" for the girls. Even those women who claim to have no problems with strip clubs will somehow twist this habit of yours to their advantage. Simply put, this is a conversational road you do not want to go down.
5. Your weirder fantasies
Certain fantasies should be shared and enjoyed together. But you may be into freaky stuff that she just wouldn't understand. Maybe your sexual fantasies involve garden tools or shellfish, and you're just not sure if your lady will appreciate them. Well, there's a good chance that she won't. There are certain daydreams that you and your imagination should take care of on your own, and that you shouldn't divulge to your lady. Once she knows what dark thoughts are running through your mind, she may head for the door faster than you can say "gimp."
4. Your masturbation frequency
Women know that guys masturbate. It's a fact of life. But your woman doesn't need to know the frequency, duration and tools that you use to get off — it might just pique her curiosity. A guy wants to be alone when he's playing with himself, and you don't need her trying to sneak up on you when you're having some "personal time."
3. Your ex-girlfriend memorabilia
You might have kept naked pictures of your exes. Maybe you've stashed away their love letters or their panties. Heck, you may have a whole database of their names and personal info in an Excel spreadsheet. Whatever the case, never let your current squeeze find out about your memorabilia. Even if she's willing to leave the past in the past, you can bet that she won't balk at dropping their names as ammo in future fights. For example: "I see then. I guess Melissa would have never done that, would she?" Get the picture? Besides, these are your private memories — your new girl just doesn't need to know.
2. Your embarrassing moments
We've all had them. And I'm not just talking about light embarrassment, like farting in public or getting caught in a Freudian slip. I'm talking about severe, crippling embarrassment, on the scale of soiling the sheets or having an ex post an indecent picture of you online. If you've suffered this kind of monstrous humiliation, she should not get a whiff of it. The idea of it and the accompanying visual will surely blow your cool factor right out of the water, and leave your woman killing herself with laughter. It's not the best way to remain slick, and there's a good chance that she'll never look at you in the same light again. You've already lost your pride once over the incident; there's no need to relive the experience.
1. Your cheating past
Maybe you were just a conniving player back in the day. Or you might have had complicated issues with an ex that drove you into the arms of another woman. No matter what the reasons, no matter how strong your determination is to mend your ways and get a clean start with someone new, your cheating past is something that you never want to reveal to your lady. She'll automatically think that you're looking to score behind her back every chance you get, and you'll never get a fair shake from her again.
Honorable Mention: The dirt on your buds
Never dish the dirt about your buddies to your woman. What constitutes dirt? Well, think of it this way: Never tell your girls things about your pals that they wouldn't reveal to their own ladies — for instance, the 10 things listed above. There are a couple of very good reasons underlying this. The first is that finking them out is a serious violation of the guy code. The second is that you don't want to implicate yourself by association: If you're always going on about how much time your buddy Dave spends at the peelers, she'll start to wonder how much time you spend there with him. Be a man, cover for your brothers, and you'll cover for yourself.
Now that you know what information you should keep well hidden from your woman, you'll always look cool and strong for the ladies. Just remember; loose lips sink ships.