Better Than The Rest!…Riding On High Horses

The nature versus nurture argument will continue to go on and I believe winners will be those who come to terms that the two contribute to who we become in terms of disposition, character, accomplishments, etc. A good appreciation of how circumstances of our birth and the socialization we go through influence us will adequately arm us for our life journey.

On a daily basis, we interact with others to achieve personal, organizational, societal, national, continental and global goals and aspirations. These interactions are necessary because we need each other to make things work. It could be in the form of skills and competences, emotional and financial support, networking opportunities, etc. No matter how you look at it, so many accomplishments rest of good interrelationships. Social order, good marriages, career opportunities, business breakthroughs, knowledge acquisition, spiritual empowerment, etc are all to a large extent, products of good interrelationships between and amongst ourselves.

It is not surprising however that we tend to look at others as people beneath us, or to be blunt, we see ourselves as better than them. We often use measures such as values, educational qualification, financial and social status, etc to rate ourselves above others. Not to be naïve, I admit that divides do exist and clear distinctions are visible for all to see, but this does not make those less fortunate and favored any less human than those acclaimed to be better -off as per the measures enumerated earlier. In a world where peaceful co-existence is indispensable to social order, diminishing the value of others or failing to acknowledge their value is a potential recipe for chaos.

For some people, what they believe in is all there is, and those who do not share their beliefs and values are beneath them or less human than they are. These people who ride on high horses fail to acknowledge their own shortcomings, but easily point out the imperfections of others to them. Organizations have stagnated and even failed because personnel in these establishments refused to gel owing to different values and beliefs; marriages have broken down due to intolerances by partners which have roots in values and beliefs; peaceful societies have become anarchical environments because the opinions and worth of others have been relegated to the background.

Nobody is born with principles - they are learnt. The very fact that principles are learnt means that they can as well be unlearnt or better still be reconsidered in various circumstances. I am not advocating for double standards but rather the dealing with people and situations on a case by case basis. A straight jacket approach is bound to fail in the face of changing circumstances, information and trends. Interestingly, some of the principles, values and beliefs that we cling to are out of sync with social progress, peaceful co-existence and economic development. Sometimes, we are even personally destroyed by the very ideologies we adopt.

Unfriendly tendencies and obnoxious attitudes towards others extend beyond values, principles and beliefs to the language one speaks, where one comes from by birth, education, dressing, age and even sex. The opinions of some people are disregarded because they are young; some are looked down upon because they are not flashily dressed; others are discriminated against because they are seen as inferior educationally.

Bitterness takes the better part of those who are discriminated against or looked down upon. Their egos are bruised, worth diminished and happiness curtailed. They tend to harbor hatred towards their offenders, leaving no room for reconciliation and often become uncooperative. On the other hand, the perpetrators of the dastard act of discrimination have ego complexes and inflated sense of self-worth. They usually feel good by inflicting pain on others. In some situations, they don't even know they offend others by their words and deeds.

God created all of us in his image and likeness and gave us varying talents and gifts which are complementary and supplementary. We should begin to acknowledge through words and deeds the worth of everybody, even those we perceive to be below our 'levels'. The world has seen changed fortunes, raised statuses and meteoric rises for those who hitherto were look down upon. Examples abound in academia, politics, business, etc.

Let us so come down from our high horses, respect one another despite the differences in beliefs, social and economic status and educational accomplishments. Only then can we have a peaceful, prosperous and progressive society.

Paul Edem Kuenyefu, a Development Enthusiast is an Entrepreneur, Writer and Motivational Speaker. He is the author of 'TO THE ZENITH', a motivational piece.

Email: pedem99[at]gmail[dot]com