To do or not to do

The journey through life is an interesting one - interesting due to the multiplicity of events and experiences that we go through. The use of interesting is not meant to paint the picture of utmost excitement and joy, but rather a description of the varying nature of experiences: bitter or sweet, negative or positive, motivating or depressing, etc. The multiplicity and varying nature of events and experiences altogether make life fascinating. Those who understand this topsy-turvy nature of life's journey tend to be generally upbeat and easily rise from the ashes to the top echelons of society. For the second group of people who fail to grasp the fact that life is full of ups and downs are easily weighed down when the odds are against them. To these people, I recommend the appreciation that life is like a tidal wave - sometimes, it swings in your favor and in others, it negatively pursues you. This understanding may be the first step in defying odds and surmounting challenges.

It is said that there is a time and season for everything- and this includes the time to fall in love or be intimately attracted to somebody. As we transition from childhood to adulthood, there is a stage that our emotion of love is stimulated in favour of another person. When the other person feels the same way or is convinced that the expression of the other party's emotion is genuine and worth buying into, the two people come together and are bonded in a romantic relationship. They tend to share a lot together, trust each other and confide a lot in one another. The relationship thrives, stagnates or ends depending on the attitudes and expectations of the two parties as well as the extent to which those expectations are managed. Human beings as emotional beings more often than not seek to attach themselves to others and feel part of a group. This need for association is highly manifested by the quest for relationships.

Temptations are always around and when you give in to them, they take the better part of you and trick you to do things that have the propensity of wreaking havoc, destroying reputations, dissipating fortunes and causing life-long regrets. In recent times, it is commonplace to find married people engaging in love relationships and affairs besides their marriages. From the good old politicians to military top-brasses to business tycoons to health experts to showbiz personalities to clergymen and women, the spate of relationships besides relationships is on the upward surge. Though the saying that variety is the spice of life might be true, it may not be applicable in relationships because the outcome is most likely to be catastrophic and irreparable.

One may be interested in asking why people who commit themselves to marital unions are tempted to engage in other amorous relationships. It is a case of people following the path of least resistance, where they prefer doing what is fun and easy rather than what is perhaps difficult and necessary. This shows a clear absence of self-discipline and poor judgment on the part of actors of this moral and social debacle. Whilst admitting that resisting love relationships beside marital unions is difficult, it cannot be an excuse to perpetuate an impropriety. When we repeatedly practice resistance to potentially destructive tendencies, we become resolute in pushing away dangerous dilemmas. Self- discipline then becomes deeply rooted in our being and propels us onto the path of utmost resistance, which is a recipe for progress, success, excellence and satisfaction. What we dwell on is what we become and what we feed grows and becomes of us. This is called the Law of Concentration.

The expediency factor is equally responsible for relationship infidelity. People tend to live in the moment without regard to the long term consequences of their actions. They rush to grab the fun and live to regret later. Expediency may help achieve short term desires, but the sustainability of that achievement will be a complete suspect. We should learn to think most often about the long term than the short term, because when all is said and done, today will give way to tomorrow and the current will gradually fade away; the future becoming clearer.

It is my hope, desire and prayer that men and women will seek to adhere to the principles of self-discipline to avoid scandals, stagnated societies, lost reputations, dented images, dissipated fortunes and distrusted alliances. The path of least resistance is the path to destruction and expediency is the strategy of shallow minds. In a bid to build integrity, character, success and excellence, utmost resistance to potentially destructive tendencies, which is a mark of self-discipline becomes an indispensable ammunition in one's arsenal.

Paul Edem Kuenyefu, a Development Enthusiast is an Entrepreneur, Writer and Motivational Speaker. He is the author of 'TO THE ZENITH', a motivational piece.

Email: pedem99[at]gmail[dot]com