The Gift, The Giver And The Recipient: …A Networking Analysis

The art of giving is a function of three main determinants: a gift, a giver and a recipient. When one of them is absent, the chain can never be completed, hence, the three have to be present to make the art of giving a success. Giving usually signifies appreciation, recognition, contentment and in most cases brotherliness.

The art of giving therefore entrenches joy, peace, progress and harmony, especially if the motive behind the art is very genuine. Mind you, some principal actors in the process can have a diabolical agenda, and this should not be a surprise, because human beings are a creation of different motives, both good and bad.

A gift is a thing given willingly to someone without payment or consideration. There is no conditionality attached to it; it is most often referred to as a present. From another lens, a gift can be a natural ability or talent, but for the purposes of this piece, we will stick to the first school of thought. What qualifies something as a gift? For starters, such a thing should be given out of free will or volition, should be valuable (not only in terms of money or price tag) to the recipient and in most cases be acceptable to the recipient. It is noteworthy that some gifts may not be acceptable to the recipient, but such things will make their lives better-off. A smile, a complement, a recommendation, an introduction, a membership, a book, a monetary present, etc, all qualify as gifts so long as they're given willingly, make the recipient better-off and mostly acceptable to the recipient.

Of critical importance in the giving function is the person who so willingly doles out the thing so described as a gift; in this case so designated as the giver. Person, as described earlier refers to both natural and artificial persons - both human beings and organizations. Why would someone give out something to another person? To show gratitude, express camaraderie, to pacify and to foster harmony may be among the avalanche of reasons behind the gesture. Does the art of giving benefit the giver? Many will be surprised at this question, as they hold to the view that giving, which should be done so willingly should only be beneficial to the recipient. To be honest however, the giver gets as much benefit as the recipient in the form of internal satisfaction for doing good, the pleasure of contributing to a solution as the case may be and perhaps the greater contentment of being a force for progress, peace, harmony and development. This notwithstanding, the giver of a present should not do so only in response to his/her motive of self-satisfaction, but rather in the spirit of making the recipient better-off or contributing to the solution of an existing problem.

On the receiving end is the recipient, who happens to be the ultimate beneficiary of the art of giving. Being a recipient of a gift only means that one has attracted the gratitude, recognition, friendliness or favour of the giver, depending on the motive behind the offer of the gift. But to continuously be a recipient is a nightmare. Nightmare because reciprocity is supposed to be the undergirding principle of giving, where a recipient today should be a giver tomorrow, even if the gift is not to the same person who hitherto gave one something. It is one who appreciates that is also appreciated, and one who gives is who is also given to. The Bible and the Qur'an both implore people to give, because there is blessing in giving. This doesn't mean it is bad to be a recipient, but always being one is a complete disaster. It is expressive of selfishness, tight-fistedness and non-appreciation.

In contemporary times, being part of a serious interconnected group of people or organizations called a network is an invaluable asset. Though unquantifiable in monetary terms, networks bring limitless possibilities and make the seemingly unachievable, achievable. Through networks, business empires have been built, academic feats chalked, international recognitions gained, diseases rolled back, progressive societies built, lives improved and the course of history changed. Atrocities have also been committed courtesy networks, ranging from massacres to fettering of freedoms and liberties. The power of networks can therefore not be underestimated. How does one become part of a network, and a positive, forward-looking and life-changing one for that matter? The answer lies partly in the interconnectedness of gift, giver and recipient.

Something or someone draws one to a particular network. It could be attitudes, accomplishments, status, recognition, etc that one feels obliged to share in or be a part of. People also get drawn to you because they see something great and worth associating with. It all starts with finding something you aspire to be or do and getting people of like mind to associate with. How do you get into their inner circles? Find a common ground. Try knowing their interests and hobbies that interlock with yours and get their attention. When you love the same sports, use that as a common ground to start a conversation. You can give them paraphernalia of the teams they support. Even if you don't have a common ground by your estimation, which I even doubt, let them feel appreciated by warming up to their likes, interests and hobbies. The ultimate result is that you get accepted into those inner circles which open infinite doors of opportunity for you.

As part of a network, make sure you give more than you receive. It is only when you live by this principle that your network expands and more people will be drawn to you. Charisma does not spring out of nothing, but from the little positive things we do second by second which contribute to the make-up of our persona and people's perception about us. Your contribution to the improvement of lives of others adds value to you and makes you stand out. You get recommended for positions and opportunities and people easily vouch for your integrity and competence. The world becomes your oyster.

When making contributions to the lives of others as well as your environment, ensure that your contribution is tailored to meet the specific needs of the people. When a gift intended to make others better-off is not directed towards the specific needs of the recipients, the art of giving becomes meaningless.

As a recipient, know that enriching the lives of others within the network is worthwhile. Do not continue receiving without giving, because doing so contracts your network and brings an end to the potential sea of opportunities.

Responsible and reliable business, educational and social networks have reformed society by engineering solutions to problems and engendering innovation. Today, we complain of shrinking employment opportunities and the emergence of “whom you know” trend, without realizing that it is a simple case of networks and networking. Those who build strong and super networks have the chance of gaining access to seemingly closed doors. Network today, and expand your world of possibilities as never before. If you choose otherwise, the results are also very clear.

Stay solo! Stay foolish!
Paul Edem Kuenyefu Is An Entrepreneur, Development Enthusiast, Writer And Motivational Speaker. He Is The Author Of 'TO THE ZENITH', A Motivational Piece

Email: pedem99[at]gmail[dot]com