TROSKINOVELA

Hmm! How am I going to make it in time for the interview? How did I get drawn into this madness? Those were the thoughts that surged through my head as I looked down on my dishevelled shirt and skewed tie. It's true what they say 'Don't argue with a fool for people might not know the difference'. Am not implying my opponent was a fool: who am I kidding.

Enough of this mumbling. You might be wondering 'what is this guy going on about'. Let me relate the story from the top. It began like a typical Monday morning, just that this day was the day of my big interview. My big break in life. You know how everyone's life is marked by defining moments; moments that change the course of one's life. This was going to be my moment. I set out in the morning feeling optimistic and full of hope.

I waited at the usual bus stop for the bus known in local parlance as 'trotro'. I didn't wait long for it seemed the heavens were rooting in my favour because the bus stopped right in front of me and I quickly dashed in before the throng of people gathered at the bus stop could get to the vehicle. I positioned myself comfortably in the front seat beside the driver and stuck my elbow out (me twaa seven). Soon the bus was full and we set off for the CBD (Central Business District).

Halfway through the journey the drivers mate started calling out for the fare. I reached into my back pocket to retrieve my wallet and realized to my dismay that there was no wallet. I searched frantically in that single back pocket as if by searching I could miraculously conjure it. I cast my mind back to recall how I could have misplaced it. That was when I realized I had traded my well-worn trousers which had my wallet firmly glued to the back pocket for a new one because of my interview. Asem aba. How was I going to explain myself? Who would believe me? Just then the mate rudely prodded and shouted 'Yes Front Front'.

I pretended to be searching my pockets and he focused his attention on the next row. Phew! That was a close one. I needed an escape plan. Fast!. As I search a kind looking young lady sitting behind me guessed my predicament and offered to pay. I gave her an appreciative look as she handed over the money to the mate and gestured towards me. Just then the mate shouted 'Abrantie, wo be si wohe fa' meaning 'Young man where will you alight'. This drew the attention of the other occupants of the vehicle to the ensuing drama. I softly said '37' so as people wouldn't know he was referring to me. Apparently he didn't hear because he shouted 'Coat coat wo be si wohe?' the situation was becoming embarrassing by the minute. I looked out the window and realized we were approaching the main airport junction, I hurriedly said 'Airport second'; 'Me kaase wo ko 37' meaning 'I thought you said 37'he retorted.

Now the situation had turned awkward and all eyes were on me. I ignored the comment the stared out the window; I could hear snickering and giggling in the cabin. That seemed to urge him on because he again shouted 'Wa bo tie nanso, wonnim b33bia wo ko mpo'. The whole cabin burst out into laughter including the driver. I wish I could melt into the seat. I was more than grateful when the vehicle stopped at the airport second bus stop. I literally leapt out of the vehicle and as I got off I heard the drivers mate say under his breath 'Ob33ma koto'; I didn't wait for him to finish. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the vehicle onto the side walk. It was as if I had been possessed.

This action startled him and I took the opportunity to deliver a few hefty blows before a few concerned passengers pried us apart. He rained insults upon me as he grudgingly boarded the vehicle. I could care less; I had given that insolent mate a lesson in respect. So dear readers this was how I found myself 250m away from my destination, with no money, and all tousled up. From the way I had started the day things could only get better. I know most of you have had similar encounters with drivers' mates; maybe not so physical but encounters where they went out of their way just to be rude to a passenger.