THE SCIENCE OF KEEPING YOUR MAN....IF YOU WANT TO-a brief overview

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3/24/2010 8:08:50 PM -

I watched a classic movie a short while back; its theme was ethically controversial; in that the nature of the main character’s business enterprise had to do with helping cheating partners to not get caught; hence its name; the ALIBI.

In its opening scene, the most profound statement was made; “its not cheating or infidelity that breaks up relationships…it is getting CAUGHT cheating that breaks the relationship.” But don’t get it twisted, this piece isn’t about tips to not get caught cheating…its about how to make it very irrelevant for your man to cheat on you, its about how to raise your game soo high that playing becomes the last thing on his mind.

I’ve heard more than a couple of ladies say; “all you guys are the same.” Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble honey ,because all us guys aren’t the same, at worst we are different shades of the same color, where for the purpose of clarity, lets say the most intellectually sophisticated guys with the tightest game are charcoal-coffee brown, and the guys at the other end of the scale are egg-whitish-brown. Obviously, there are some differences.

Fact 2, guys in one way or another, at one time or the other, seek opinion and/or approval from one or some guy friends of his about his babe…TRUST ME!!, we all wanna know what the boys think of our babe, and its not a cheap reassurance ploy…its jus the way it is, and the good news is, you can use it to your advantage.

Fact 3, all girlfriends fall under 3 major headings; the “what on earth did you see in her?” kind, the “awww I’m so happy for you man, she’s great for you” kind and then finally, the “meeeeehhhnnn, u r 1 darn lucky lad, I WISH SHE WAS MINE!!” category, and take it from me ladies, there’s a clear crisp difference among all them 3…and you wanna be in the last one, cos that’s where the sustainability is.

Please bear in mind, its not enough that he’s a church-going man who loves you, because seriously, the whole love thing is very overrated these days if you ask me, and in the recipe for a sustained relationship, love and going to church alone don’t put the beans in the waakye…they just color it and give it some taste, the beans is in the next paragraph onwards.

So, how do u get there?
Mind you, if your man is egg-whitish brown, you aint got to read any further…he’s gonna want to keep you for life even if all you can do is say the alphabet backwards or do ‘amazing’ things like being able to eat with both hands at the same time. But if your man has any bit of sophistication (which is desirable) then the first and basic thing you have to work on is impressing him.

Over-doing it might intimidate him, but that kinda guy isn’t even deep brown (if you get what I mean). If you do that well, he’ll always be looking forward to the next show-and-tell or hope you always run into people he knows.

And this is rather broad, because it cuts across demeanor to dressing. I’m going to try to touch on a bit of each. But in all, moderation is key.

You don’t need to flaunt your assets to keep your man…it takes away the curiosity (another key), and the challenge in getting to see them when the time is right.

Don’t be overly submissive, because it gets boring and guys love ladies who are firm and resolute in their beliefs and compromise only when it’s utterly vital, that includes not apologizing too much, even for things you didn’t do wrong. Believe it or not, being stubborn is sooo much an attractive feature in girls; it keeps you on his mind-whether he likes it or not. The problem is knowing how much stubbornness is enough, because if you overdo it, it becomes unbearably annoying.

You don’t have to agree with everything he says, PLEASE, be opinionated and independent minded, a calm disagreement with good reason keeps you on his mind…and that’s ultimately what you want to do. It really sets you apart, because chances are, if he’s a hunk you can keep him only by being original and outstanding, from as many previous and current girls he knows as possible.

Knowing how to cook is a major plus, it kinda says, “please, don’t let the manicure fool you, my fingers are 10 magic wands on to pretty hands.” Try not to be too much of a gossip; you come off as too typical and dependent. Being discrete is the key here.

You’ve got to know how to handle it when you are getting jealous. Guys like it when their women get moderately jealous, but it’s how they handle it that makes all the difference. I dig a girl who’ll give me a long rope, but will clearly and firmly state my limits and not hesitate to walk out if she has to.

What does it for me personally, is when a girl knows how to tease without being frustrating. You’ve got to know how to tease your man to be able to keep him, but you’ve got to know what shade of brown he is to know how to do that well. He must always be wanting something from you; either your attention your approval, your calls….you name it, if you do this right, this is what he’ll be saying to his friends “I CANT HAVE ENOUGH OF HER” if you hear your man say this and mean it, you can be comfortable about thinking long-term. What this means is there shouldn’t be excess supply of anything, but it shouldn’t also be so scarce that he’ll have to wait till Christmas. Bring it close, then take it back and deliver it when it’ll make the greatest impact. Every guy wants to be a good part of his woman’s world…not all of it!

You’ve got to have a decent basket of virtues yourself, because it is virtues that put the weight in you. The most ideal place to have that is in Church. Almost every –if not every- man wants to settle down with a virtuous woman. My pastor once said; “if u get him with your face powder, keep him with your baking powder.” Many guys will envy a guy with a sexy, liberal not-too-many-questions-asked girlfriend, but all those guys will laugh so hard at him when he decides to engage her, it’ll only be a matter of time before he realizes she is the costume that brings out the clown in him.

In conclusion, if any level-headed deep brown guy walks out on you for doing all the above things I’ve suggested in the right proportions, the hardest thing will be watching him walk away, but please, please, please don’t chase after him (you must make sure you are right in this case). It’ll only be a matter of time before he comes back…more deserving of you, and if you’ve done everything right, it is his friends and the inadequacies in all the other girls he’ll meet which will bring him running back to you. Guys think, we do, and we know good things when we see them. We can be conveniently blind to them for a while…but sooner than later, they hit us HARD! And our ego lets way to common sense, and it’s at a time like that YOU determine the pace, the conditions or whether at all you still want him back.

PS: IF YOU LIKED THIS, VISIT www.goldinwords.com YOU'LL BE BLOWN AWAY!

If seeing is indeed believing then blind men will be the worst skeptics.
By: Frank kwegya Amissah