What are Ghanaian men afraid of?
By myjoyonline - Myjoyonline.com Feature Article | Sat, 17 May 2008
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Feature Article : "The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Modernghana.com."
A woman s greatest emotional need is in the security and the quality of her relationship. A woman is prepared to commit everything about her life in a relationship to make it work.
Sadly, many Ghanaian men don t want to know. They keep many women in frustration, suspension, anguish, despair and loneliness. What are Ghanaian men afraid of?
Initiating a relationship
A Ghanaian man sees a lady he loves. He finds the woman just right for him but he is at a loss to start a relationship. Some are crude in their approach. Some immediately attempt to bribe the woman with money and benefits for sex. Many lack self-esteem and look for others to win women for them. Some wait too long and lose potential life partners.
Decision to marry:
There are many Ghanaian men in very good relationships where the women bend over to make the relationship exciting. Everything works fine and the chemistry is right. They may be of age and in good professions.
However, whenever the question of marriage comes up the men go cold. They have lots of excuses.
Wedding
This is the biggest fear of the Ghanaian man. The principle of church marriage is that a man leaves his family to live with his wife to become one flesh. Partners give each other top priority in all they do. Their relationship is inseparable till death. Many Ghanaian men find these too hot to handle. They see wedding as a dangerous option and total surrender of their freedom and would do all to avoid it.
Why the fear?
Men are born competitors and providers. Our greatest emotional needs are what we can achieve. We are, however, prone to failure. Men, therefore, avoid long-term relationships because of the high risk of failure. We always want to defend our ego. If we stay out and do not commit ourselves then we can t fail and will, therefore, protect our ego. This may explain why many Ghanaian men opt for cohabitation. This enables them to leave relationships that have risk of failure. Men are actually the weaker sex.
• Ghanaian men love to be in relationship but intimacy scares them. We sit on the fence so that we can be independent and jump to wherever we want in the event of conflicts. We want all the best of the benefits of marriage without commitment to women. We can have many women. We want to have our cake and eat it.
What to do
• Develop a positive mental attitude about yourself and relationships. Remember, women love men who are self-confident. They also love words. Men must be romantic when initiating relationships and mean what they say. A woman will love you for your security and commitment more than money, big titles and benefits.
• Appreciate there is no point delaying marriage unduly if you are sure you love your woman. Marrying early helps you to interact better and grow with your children. You will never find a perfect partner and nobody can ever be fully prepared to marry. You can, however, find true love. Success may not come because you delayed.
• A covenant relationship is an honour to couples and God who calls us into marriage for His greatest gift to humanity. Go for it. True love casts out fear and makes all mountains disappear because God has not given us the spirit of fear but boldness to honour Him.
Fear is the greatest obstacle to commitment. Fear will take away your motivation to enjoy the beauty of true love. Feel the fear but push it away. Life is full of adventure or it is nothing. Don t hide in your comfort zone and cheat yourself of the amazing benefit of relationships. If you share true love, you will not be afraid to love completely with trust, honesty and fairness.
Let go fear to commitment. It is the only way to greater excitement, adventure, pleasure and blessing. There are enough verses to remind us each day not to fear. Nothing in life compares with a committed relationship. You deserve just that.
Email: jydboakye@yahoo.com
Source: myjoyonline - Myjoyonline.com
"The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Modernghana.com." To have your articles publish, please submit them to editor@modernghana.com.
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Comments To This Article
5 readers have commented so far on this story. And below this page is a sample of the latest comments published. Or you can also click view all to read all comments that readers have sent in.
What are Ghanaian men afraid of?
akoaso | Hamburg-Germany (Location: Germany) | 5/19/2008 1:59:00 PM
THATS IT .A VERY NICE ARTICLE.THESE MEN THINK WE WOMEN ARE BEEN f**lED BUT THEY END UP f**lING THEMSELVES.WHY DO THEY HAVE MORE DEADFUL SICKNESS AS WOMEN? END EFECT DYING EARLY AS WOMENGOD HELP THEM THOROUGH
What are Ghanaian men afraid of?
K | - (Location: United States) | 9/9/2008 4:21:00 PM
A father set the paths for his son...so if the son sees that his father is not romantic, affectionate, commited to his mother then the son will do the same...just chasing women of all sorts.
What are Ghanaian men afraid of?
rick lynn | Jacksonville, FL-U.S.A. (Location: United States) | 11/19/2008 6:02:00 PM
I think many men are losing out in different countries, mentally, emotionally, socially, academically, and now in many cases, also economically.Men are not afraid of successful women. They are afraid of abuse toward them by society, including women who may perceive men to be weak in some way. The nineteenth century belief Males should be strong allows aggression toward Males who appear weak in some way. Society provides love, honor, respect, support, etc. (the essentials for feelings of self-worth only on the condition of sufficient achievement, money, power, status, and image. Those Males who do not have sufficiency are not only given less love, honor, and respect, they are allowed upon them more aggression by society. This makes men very competitive for they feel they must achieve in order to have those things. Added the nineteenth century belief Males should be strong that allow much more aggression toward Males and also the denial from day one of mental, emotional, social support from day one (for fear of coddling the Male) and you have Males falling behind Females mentally, emotionally, socially, academically, and economically.
Women, due to the nineteenth century belief woman should be protected are given love, honor, and respect simply for being women. The nineteen century belief they should be protected also allows for much mental, emotional, social support, to only "appear to mature faster than Males". By differential treatment Females are surging ahead. In addition that very overprotection by society allows women to give verbal, silent abuse, and hollow kindness or patronization with impunity. The combination of allowed aggressions upon Males who appear weak in some way, lack of support for Males, more than adequate support for Females, and the protected freedoms of various allowed verbal and nonverbal abuse by women makes a Male who appears weak in some way quite vulnerable to more abuse from successful women and more also from society.
