Take Responsibility For Your Life

We cannot have a world where everyone is a victim. ‘I’m this way because my father made me this way. I’m this way because my husband made me this way.” Yes, we are indeed formed by traumas that happen to us. But then you must take charge, you must take over, you are responsible.”

~ Camille Paglia
When we talk about taking responsibility, some people look at it in a narrow sense. They know they have to provide for themselves and family.

They know they have to feed the family, pay utility bills, meet medical expenses, and give their children a good education. They know they must work, earn income and live a dignified life.

However, when they are not getting what they want in life, they resort to the blame game. They blame things outside of themselves.

They may blame their parents, spouse, children, the economy, the president, their boss, heavy traffic that made them late etc. It is not their fault.

Even if it’s their fault, they will blame someone else. They always point accusing fingers at innocent people.

People who do not take ownership for their life, give excuses for their predicament. In his book, “The Magic of Thinking Big,” Dr. David Schwartz says such people suffer from excusitis, a failure disease.

When they are failing in life, they have reasons to give. They give excuses as to why they have not achieved their goals.

Again people who do not take full responsibility for their life, have that bad habit of complaining. And they almost always complain to the wrong person.

For example, someone has unkind words that upset or hurt you. You don’t have to complain to a different person.

The right thing to do is to complain to the one whose words have troubled you. Perhaps that person can apologize to you.

There is another interesting thing about people who do not take responsibility for their lives. They ignore what Jack Canfield, an accomplished author, calls “yellow alerts.”

For instance, if your daughter comes home very late and this becomes habitual, it’s a yellow alert. If you don’t take action, she could get an unwanted pregnancy.

In the aforementioned scenarios, the people have become victims. Richard Bach once wrote, “If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”

When you take full responsibility for your life, you are acknowledging that you played a role in the results and everything you’re experiencing as your life. You accept the fact that you are in charge of your life.

Dan Millman famously said: “It is better for you to take responsibility for your life as it is, instead of blaming others, or circumstances, for your predicament. As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you – consciously or unconsciously.” We are the chief architects of our own life.

Your current life is as a result of your thoughts, your decisions, choices and actions or inaction. You cannot absolve yourself from the consequences of your behavior.

After all, you are the driver of your life. No one is in the driver’s seat, but you.

When you take full responsibility for your life, you’re also saying that, you can change the results and the quality of your life by taking control of your thoughts, your decisions, choices and actions and aligning them with your dreams and desires. To change the results you are experiencing as your life, change your thoughts, choices and behavior.

There is not much we can do about external events or circumstances. We have no control over the things that happen to us.

However we can do something about ourselves. Jim Rohn said, “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you change yourself.”

His quote speaks to the fact that, we can change our response to an event to change the results. We can change our attitude, it’s within our control.

When you take personal responsibility, you’ll see your challenges as an opportunity to learn and gain from the experience and move on. It means taking your destiny into your own hands.

Taking responsibility for your life; you’re never going to blame others, complain about external events, or make excuses or ignore the yellow alerts that echo from the distant. It means not giving up, putting forth your best efforts, and exploring other ways to improve the situation.

It also implies, riding on the experiences of people who encountered similar curve balls who triumphed. To take responsibility is another way of expressing optimism, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Les Brown teaches us the same thing. He once remarked, “If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” When you develop a hunger to accomplish your goals, you’re not going to leave any stone unturned in an effort to rise above your problems and attain unbelievable heights of achievement.

When you take 100% responsibility for everything in your life, you are empowering yourself to map out strategies to change and improve the quality of your life. When you live in self-denial, arrogance and resentment, and you’re blaming other people, you have ceded power to them to determine your fate.

When you take responsibility, you also accept the consequences because they are the results of your own choices and actions. It also calls for patience as getting more success demands more effort and the willingness to make the necessary sacrifices.

You must realize that in times of challenge, those who win are those who are strong, courageous and resilient. They cultivate a positive mental attitude that propels them forward in life.

Sully Erna expresses similar sentiments when he said, “Be conscious of your decisions. More importantly, take responsibility for the consequences they bring. When struggling with your passions and goals, be patient and never bail out. You’ll eventually get your shot. Remember that only the strong will survive. Be willing to sacrifice things you love to achieve your dream. Expect disappointments, because they will happen over and over again. Just never forget that there is definitely a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow—it’s just a son of a bitch getting there.”

To wrap up, taking personal responsibility for our lives means we accept that we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. When we blame, complain or make excuses for our predicament, we are absolving ourselves from the life we have created by our own thoughts, decisions, choices and actions or inactions.

We become victims rather than victors. To get more success into our lives, we must see our challenges and adversities for what they truly are, our greatest teachers.

We must see our mistakes as opportunities for growth. Take the lessons from failure, resolve to do things better and move on.

If you are not happy with what you are experiencing as your life, change your thoughts, make better decisions and choices to transform your life positively.

Viktor Frankl made the following profound statement that resonates with my heart on taking responsibility for our lives, “Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Yours in inspiration,
Abundant Robert K. AWOLUGUTU, Writer & Author

Author of Manifestation Secrets Revealed.