We take control

Have you ever been a passenger in a car with a driver who was a learner or an inexperienced driver? Then you know just how out of control it feels when you think the person is not applying the brakes quickly enough.

Maybe you've even slammed on the imaginary brake on the passenger side of the car a few times to no avail. I have done that a few times and I must admit it is quite stressful, not forgetting the discomfort from the involuntary frequent jerks of my legs.

I remember a few years ago when I was teaching a young friend how to drive. Instead of following my instructions to slow down before making a right turn, she tried to make the turn with the same speed at which she was driving.

Instinctively, I quickly reached across and grabbed the steering wheel to quickly turn the car away from the house it was headed towards. Fortunately for both of us it worked and although the car hit a fence, we avoided what could have been a major disaster.

I shudder at the thought now. What do you think I did next? We were both speechless for a minute and rooted to the spot.

Anyway, no need to guess any further. Of course the driving lesson ended and I took over. No way was I going to put my life in the hands of someone who had just lost control. Perhaps, you would have done the same too.

This is not a lesson about driving and how to avoid obstacles on the road; however, this experience taught me a lesson I would like to share with you today. There are times when you feel helpless when faced with situations in which you are not in charge.

Yet even then you still have the power to choose whether to be in control or not. However, there are those who go through life blaming circumstances and others for the things that are not working in their lives.

You see, if you believe someone or something else is the cause of everything that happens to you, then you are relinquishing control of your life.

You are beautiful because someone said so, you are unhappy because you are single, you got a promotion because you were lucky, it is your father's fault you are not doing well, you are an alcoholic because you are not happy and on and on.

It is disturbingly easy to let life drift by and go wherever it takes us, but taking control is the only way to ensure that you get what you want out of life, otherwise you will just drift through the years and wonder why you aren´t satisfied.

The first step is to examine your life and determine the area where you have problems.

In a car going the wrong way, you take control and turn the car in the right direction. The same principle can be applied in life.

Of course there will always be things in life over which you have no control, but even then, you do still have the choice to control how you respond. The saying that you can take a horse to the river but you can't force it to drink simply means that when you take control over the way you look at life, the way you react to others, the way you think and the things you do, it gives you a sense of power. That, my friends, is a healthy lifestyle.

Let me ask you a question. How much control do you have over every area of your life? By your life I mean things that make up your life; relationships (with God and people), your body and health, your finances, your job, your mental state, emotional state and everything else that sums up to make your life. Is there something you can change to make it better? Responses that amount to blame, excuses and complaints prevent you from taking control and making the most out of your life.

I recall some words from one of my college professors. He said he would give us all the material and motivation we needed to succeed in his class, but ultimately it was completely up to us whether we would do well in his class or not.

This is so true and yet so often we give up control over important areas of our life. Whether it is eating the right foods, managing your finances well, holding on to unforgivingness or getting exercise, we often willingly or unknowingly give parts of this control to others.

In subsequent weeks I will talk about some of the areas to take control.

Lifestyle quality is seldom achieved by accident. The proverb you can take a horse to the rivercan be paraphrased to mean 'choice matters.'

It is never too late to change your attitude to ensure a positive outcome. So here's to you and here's to me, adopting a healthier lifestyle in every area.

Enjoy the journey and stay in control.
By Barbara Sai Djangmah/The Mirror/Ghana
The writer is a Lifestyle Coach & Author of 'The Seduction of Food'