How to say sorry and make it mean something
10/13/2008 12:09:05 AM -
As guys, we always do something or say something without thinking that upsets our significant other.
Saying you are sorry can get you off the doghouse when you've done this but only if she really believes you are sincere and remorseful. If she thinks that you are just apologising to take advantage of the incredible make up intimacy, you will be in hotter waters - than you were before you started!
One of the things that shows sincerity and remorse better than anything is action. What I mean by that is making a conscious effort not to repeat the same offence again. If you find yourself apologising time and time again for the same offence, not only does it show a lack of remorse but it also shows that you really don't care about what upset her.
If you know the exact reason she is upset, then apologise for that exact thing. Just saying you are sorry, without knowing the reason, is not only insincere but also sets you up for repeating it because you don't know what it is you need to avoid doing or saying.
If you really have no idea, humble yourself and ask her what you did to upset her. Tell her you're an idiot for not realising, but you really want to know because you don't want to do it again.
Don't ever apologise by phone if you can do it in person and never do it with a message or an e-mail. Again, this kind of cold and relnoved apology shows a lack of sincerity and doesn't demonstrate that you are truly sorry for what you did. Take the time and effort to meet personally so that you can show how solTy you are and try to make amends.
If you want to go down in flames, go ahead and blame her for the situation while you are apologising. I know that a lot of times the problem may have been contributed to by her, but the issue here is your apology.
If you have a decent woman, she will reciprocate with. an apology as well, as long as you do it the right way. The only way to have your apology accepted as being sincere is to accept total responsibility.
Don't allow too much time to pass either.
If you apologise promptly it will be better accepted than if you wait and she thinks you are simply apologising to get back in her good graces as an afterthought.
On the other hand, if you are having an argument and you try to apologise in the heat of the moment, it is likely to fall on deaf ears because she will not hear what you are trying to convey.
A nice gift can smooth things over too.