What Are the dangers of married people flirting?

You may be married, but you're not dead--and you are also not oblivious to attractive people other than your spouse. Flirting with that sympathetic co-worker or intriguing new acquaintance at a party can boost your self esteem, or make your partner sit up and take notice, according to "Time" magazine. Flirting can also be harmless fun, insists psychologist Michael Brickey, author of "Defy Aging," writing for his website. However, flirting when you are married can be hazardous to your marriage, as well as to your mental health.

Impropriety and infidelity
One danger of married people flirting is obvious: it can go too far. If you're keeping secrets from your spouse, you've crossed the line with your flirting, according to the Focus on the Family website. Flirting when you're married can negatively impact your career. Former Hewlett-Packard Chief Executive Officer Mark Hurd was forced to resign in August 2010, after an investigation of a "close personal relationship" with a female contractor revealed that he had made improper payments to the woman, according to CNBC.com.

Flirtation can also develop into full-blown extramarital affairs. A study conducted by University of Florida doctoral student Beatriz Avila Mileham in 2002 involved 86 participants of online chat forums targeting married people who wanted to flirt with other participants. Of these participants, 26 met their online flirting partners in person and all but two eventually had affairs, according to "Online Dating" magazine.

Emotional affairs
Many emotional affairs begin as "innocent" friendships or "harmless" flirtation, according to the Focus on the Family website. People involved in an emotional affair often do not realize or choose to deny that they have betrayed their marriages because they haven't had sex, says psychiatrist Gail Saltz, in an article she originally wrote for "O, the Oprah Magazine" and reprinted on CNN.com/Living. In fact, emotional affairs represent a breach of the marital bond that can be as devastating as sexual infidelity, according to Saltz. "It's much more difficult to make your way back from a betrayal of intimate feelings than to try to refresh a marriage that may have become flat and distant," she claims.

Online and in-world liaisons
Like many other aspects of post-industrial life, the Internet has had a profound effect on romance and flirtation. So-called in-world games, such as Second Life, allow participants to create avatars and personas which may or may not reflect their actual physical selves, according to MSNBC.com. Nonetheless, in-world relationships between these avatars can seem very real, and can intrude on the everyday lives of their participants.

Cyber flirtation lacks the implied limitations and boundaries of face-to-face flirtation, says psychologist Dave Greenfield, who specializes in Internet addiction. Because of the lack of physical contact and proximity, people often miss the signals that warn them that in-person flirtation is crossing into dangerous territory, according to "Psychology Today." In-world or online relationships can seem more real than the actual marriage, according to Greenfield. Ending such relationships can be as devastating as a breakup in real life, according to MSNBC.com.