The Redneck Oil Change Checklist

1. Go to O'Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin a cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss and complain.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

40. Test drive car

41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.

42. Car gets impounded.

43. Make bail; get car from impound yard.

Money Spent:

$50 parts

$12 beer

$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!

$1000 Bail

$200 Impound and towing fee

Total: $1337

Author: webmaster

Add Comment

Remember to keep comments respectful and to follow our

What are the rules for commenting?

We've established these House Rules for your safety and to keep the ModernGhana website a healthy environment for discussion.

We love you posting comments. But please don’t do anything horrible, rude or illegal.

More specifically, please don’t post anything that:

Is inappropriate (abusive, offensive or disruptive)
Is off-topic (to the original content or the current conversation)
Contains personal information (either your own or someone else’s)
Puts children at risk
Is illegal, or glamourises illegal activity
Is defamatory (damaging to someone else’s reputation)
Is in contempt of court (anything that could affect the outcome of a court case)
Infringes anyone’s rights (including privacy rights)
Was made by someone else, or that copies someone else’s creation
Is posted for your financial gain (advertising, sponsorship etc.)
Isn’t in English (unless we’ve asked you to comment in another language)
Contains spam (unless you’re commenting on a story about reconstituted meat)
Contains links to content that can’t be seen easily, or may be unsafe (viruses, spyware, paywalls etc.)
Or doesn’t comply with the rest of our Terms of Use.

Breach of the terms of use will result in the removal of your comments. Repeated breaches will result in the restriction of your IP-Address.