07.04.2020 Opinion

An Open Letter To The "Medical Monster"

By Emmanuel Bombande
An Open Letter To The
LISTEN APR 7, 2020

Dear "medical monster",

I bring you greetings from Umuofia. We were more than the word "happy" until our greatest enemy, "covid 19" arrived on the rostrum. Life has not been easy ever since the Chinese gave birth to this deadly virus. Like a creeping plant does, COVID-19 is gradually eating into every aspect of our lives. We Africans, more especially West Africans and for that matter Ghanaians are keeping our fingers crossed, hoping and praying that something good in the name of a vaccine comes from the "West" so we can have a breathing space.

Dead Sir, having given you an overview of what the globe is talking about today, let me zero down to your attitude.

Let me emphasize that the elephant size of your "cheeks" coupled with your "protruded abdomen" are enough to generate newspaper headlines but I'm being more charitable by focusing my lenses on your "bossy behaviour".

A bird whispered into my ears that once upon a time, you highly discredited the blood pressure(B.P) results of a client by one of your nurses, drumming home of the fact that, your findings were totally different from hers'. My checks, however, shows that you re-checked the client's B.P after "ward rounds", certainly more than an hour after the nurse had finished with the client at the O.P.D.

As a medical doctor with loads of experience, you should have known better that patients B.P are not bound to be static and that a whole lot of factors come to play with regards to B.P findings.

Sometimes patients B.P rise when they step foot on the soil of the hospital premises. Others even get their B.P skyrocketing once they catch a glimpse of the doctor.

I am reliably informed that, you disagree with that "school of thought". You even went ahead and to tell your subordinates that you are not a "caricature" to trigger patients' B.P to rise.

Of course yes, you have every right to disagree, but the truth of the matter is that some people actually fear the mere sight of either the hospital or the doctor.

I was compelled by your "all-knowing" posture to do small research in my own small way. Lo and behold I came across the following words:

1. Nosocomephobia, which denotes - fear of hospital.

2. Iatrophobia, which also connotes - fear of doctors.

Dear "medical monster", the above information clearly exposes your ignorance on some of these issues. I want to put it to you that, the benefit of "reciprocal respect" is that, it allows "cross-fertilization" of ideas. I, therefore, entreat you to take a low profile so "humanity can miss your humility" alongside a sense of humour.

Being a medical doctor does not make you an "oracle". Populist nonsense" must, therefore, give way to "popular sense".

I am for afternoon duty today and the clock is ticking. I would like to put my pen down so I can prepare for work.

Just like I stated in my third paragraph, I have been very charitable in my choice of words but if you so wish for a rebuttal, I am ever ready to harbor them in my belly.

I hope your pride will take a nosedive from this day onwards.

Let me sound a word of caution to you here and now. I am the least educated among the "Bombandes". No one, absolutely no one threatens any of us.

If you can bite me below my abdomen without minding my "testicles", I will bite you in the head without minding your "brain".

Anyway, the king of Umuofia sends his greetings.

I shall be back.

Emmanuel Bombande.

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