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30.12.2019 Feature Article

Mahama Ran a Useless Government, Not Just Useless Ministries

Mahama Ran a Useless Government, Not Just Useless Ministries
LISTEN DEC 30, 2019

His entire National Democratic Congress’ government was run out of office and out of town, so it ought to have been pretty simple and easy for the Minister of Sanitation to have been able to promptly respond to former President John Dramani Mahama’s patently uncouth and vitriolic shot that Ms. Cecilia Abena Dapaah was running a “useless” Ministry (See “Sanitation Minister Replies Mahama Over ‘Useless’ Sanitation Ministry Comment” / 12/29/19).

Indeed, if Mr. Mahama really had the courage of his convictions, that is, if he were capable of this basic human possession of convictions, the thoroughly defeated former President would not have taken his silly circus roadshow to Facebook, where much fewer Ghanaian citizens were likely to have tuned in for such patent guff, that is, if they had the time. Rather, he would have gone onto one of the local major radio and television networks in the country to advertise what clearly appears to be the rather unwise propagation of his megalomaniacal funk of desperation.

The man simply and scandalously underestimates the intelligence of Ghanaian voters and our uncanny ability to decide who should and/or must govern us and our country; and he is certain to suffer another crushing defeat in the polls very soon. You see, the correct response from Ms. Dapaah, the Sanitation Minister, ought to have been to the effect that the former Atta-Mills’ arch-lieutenant ran a totally useless government chockfull of common thieves and double-salary drawing political scam-artists, which was precisely why he was democratically driven out of office and out of town with the unprecedented electoral margin of more than One-Million Votes!

You see, Dear Reader, as you may also already know, the Ford “Expedition” Payola Specialist and pathological political scam-artist is the first postcolonial Ghanaian Head-of-State to democratically fail, massively, in his bid for a second consecutive term of office; and this hopeless political buffoon and clown lost by more than 10-percentage points in the polls. That goes to show you how stinky, classless and useless the Mahama Administration was. Which was also precisely why Ms. Dapaah was transferred from her former Aviation Ministry portfolio, where she had done great wonders, to the Sanitation Ministry by President Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo, where she continues to do marvelous work.

In a meaningful and constructive and visionary cabinet reshuffle, any President worth his designation would put his/her best and brightest appointees to work where the greatest volume of cleanup needs to be done. That was why Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo posted Cecilia Abena Dapaah to the Sanitation Ministry, that is, to thoroughly clean up the horrid mess and unbearable stench left behind by Mr. John Dramani Mahama and his 80-plus thieves. And you know what, my Dear Reader? The fumigation process has already begun, which means that even the faintest stench of the Mahama Administration would very shortly not be perceived or smelled on the presently much kosher national political landscape. And when Abena Dapaah’s work is done, it would be almost as if “Little Dramani” never existed, let alone ever ran our beloved country.

In a gist, this is the warty profile of the professionally hopeless self-styled Presidential Spare-Tire who now has the temerity to call his political and ideological superior a “Try-Me-Too” President. Well, Ghanaians have tried and tested Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo and found the latter to be miles and ages ahead of and indescribably better than the kleptocratic Presidential Spare-Tire. Trust me, the kindly hearted man who woefully blundered or goofed by handpicking his own would-be-assassin for the Presidency must be rolling up in his casket and in his grave at Goose Park, desperately kicking and screaming and hoping that his old Legon soccer teammate would take pity on him and have his mortal remains gently exhumed and reinterred in the new Heroes’ Corner at the newly demarcated Teshie Military Cemetery, where the mortal remains of retired global political and cultural league players like Mr. Kofi Atta Annan, Prof. JH Kwabena Nketia and Poet and Genius Performance Artist, Prof. Atukwei Okai are resting in peace and dignity.

Maybe, like his shabbily treated former Vice-President, Paa Kwesi Amissah-Arthur, Mr. Mahama rather needs to worry about the kind of bucket-seat, flatbed pickup truck that will eventually carry his distended belly and whatever may be left of the rest of his body when the time comes for this schoolchildren’s Dream-Killer to be rushed to one of the nearby morgue-like state-owned hospitals, than the fact of whether or not Cecilia Dapaah is running a “useless” Sanitation Ministry. Little Dramani also ought to rather worry about which Zoomlion sanitation truck will show up at the Mahama residence to carry his carcass to the garbage dump, where it truly and rightly belongs! Happy New Year, glass paper-faced Dramani! Trust me, you are not coming back, never again!

*Visit my blog at: Ghanaffairs

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., PhD

English Department, SUNY-Nassau

Garden City, New York

December 30, 2019

E-mail: [email protected]

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