My Beautiful Weakness

It is meant to be my gift, it is meant to be my strength
It is meant to give me joy, it is meant to bring me glory
But what shall I call it when it repels that which I must attract?
Shall I not then say my strength is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter?

What can I say when my God given beauty scares off even the one that I must attract?
Shall I not then call it a weakness that I am beautiful?
What can I say when my God given wisdom scares and unsettles the king?
Shall I not then call it a weakness that I am wise?

What shall I call my beauty when my own friends are scared of the contrast that we cast?
What shall I call my gift when it brings a repelling discomfort to those that I must embrace?
What must I say when that which must bring me attraction brings me rejection?
Shall I not then say my beauty is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter!

What shall I say when that which must give me wings to fly high and shine in the sky,
gives me a deep sting that makes me want to cry and die?
This is a mystery of my life, a mystery hidden in my divine giftedness
Yes, it is a mystery, a mystery that I will call a beautiful weakness

What can I say when my seemingly effortless achievements makes others feel cursed in my presence?
What can I say when my God given intelligence scares and unsettles my own master?
What can I call my God given gift when it makes me seem and sound like a threat even to the throne?
Shall I not then say my gift is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter!
Yes it makes me beautiful but it also makes me stressful
Yes it makes me to stand out and yet it also automatically gets me cast out
Surely, what shall I call my gift when it endangers the very life that it must promote?
Shall I not then say my beauty is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter!

It is not my intention that my beauty scares and unsettles those that I must attract
It is not my intention that my gift scares and unsettles those with whom I must interact
It is not my intention that my wisdom unsettles the king unto whom I even want to submit
It is not my intention that my intelligence unsettles my master whom I even want to respect

But when all this happens, what then shall I call my gift?
What shall I call my giftedness when it makes people think I want to steal the limelight?
And yet all what I want is for the light in me to freely shine in their hearts and minds?
Shall I not then say my gift is my weakness? A beautiful weakness for that matter?

©Brian Kazungu, 2017