The Underground Man - Part 8

“The bible is asking humans should not engage in adultery…even when Adam ate from the forbidden fruit, he had cheated on the word commanded to him. The only reason God allows divorce is when adultery is in the marriage occurs. All societies for generation passed have opened a door for women no longer agreeing with their husband`s life-style and belief for a better future, to divorce him. They can get away from their husbands before starting a new life with a new partner and make babies with him. No one is forced to cheat on anyone, no woman, no man…simple as that. When on top of cheating the wife presents a child to the husband pretending it is his own son, tragedy sets in lasting a life time for all parties involved. Such women want to enjoy the security of the marriage while checking out the new relationship on the expenses of their married spouses.” Tears run down his lips:” To have hold a child as his own in his arms, having felt it during bonding time in hospital on someone`s naked chest minutes later…after the child was born…a man with feelings and dignity can never forget…these feelings never go away, also not by the child´s mother commanding words. These ladies do knowingly and willingly endless harm to the legal and biological fathers, the child itself, the families around them and finally to themselves. No one is a winner in this evil act to deliver a cuckoo’s child. Yet it can be prevented so easily….women just do not deliver in your marriage a child from another man…simple as that. Feminist Media and organizations should call their fellow ladies to order. What has torched for thousands of years, loner than AIDS or gay-rights issues, is still not out there, has no public voice but dealt with only by people involved in their private corners. The laws are against a solution to heal wounds and bring justice to them. In Germany here the legal father can ask the biological father for financial compensation for all his expenses spent on a wrong child, yet has no right to force the woman to disclose the identity of the biological father. How should he then pursue his right for financial compensation?” Walter Enden broke down in tears. He bend over to his knees, starred at his sneakers with inner hate and helplessness. How much would he have loved to call his ex-son his son!

“In our divorce laws such ladies do not get punished. They basically get away with their evil acts unpunished leaving a bloody battle field behind. I call on all people around the world to join hands together in unity and end these acts of cruelty, to support each other globally and make laws work that bring justice and healing to people that deserve to be comforted.”

Anna took a deep breath. She looked around seeing couples with their children walking and playing. What she was unable to see were the wounds inside caused by others intentionally, ignorantly or out of stupidity. She felt strongly the suggestion of Walter Enden should and must be supported by all people feeling a compassionate heart beat in their chest and sensible mind.

It was midnight; Sunday was just about to move into Monday. No car to be seen or heard. Trains had stopped for their service. In the kitchen the sound of the fridge cooling the food was silently making quite noise monotonously along. Birds had gone to sleep. Monika Willers slept on her convertible double bed in the living room. Irena and Alexa were dreaming the night away in their double stacked bed across her room. The family used Anna`s room for receptions. A white dinner table with white chairs that had blue lined seats, was the center of her room. Along the wall facing her bed stood three shelves filled with books, all hers collected over time. Her sisters never cared for books, their room had none to show but was filled with radio, cassettes and CDs. Their wardrobes were bigger than her own, filled up completely.

Anna was not able to sleep. Restless moving from side to side in her far to short bed, she tried to force herself to sleep. During the past few days nervousness had filled her heart, made her unable to think well and clear. She did not know the cause of her wild thoughts and dreams. It seemed the whole world and its problems, the fears, hopes, dreams, times, failures would come down on her crashing her soul to take away anything she was used to know; anything that gave her guidance and stability in life; a path of orientation to know which way to choose while moving forward. Headache set in. Quietly went she over to the bathroom, swallowed tablets of Paracetamol and went back to bed. Waiting for her relieve from pain, her heart was still beating hard against her rips. Anna thought it would be unfair not to have control over herself, her body and soul, to command silence and peace into them. She was always angry when her body did what it was not supposed to do. In these moments Anna felt to be two or more persons sharing the same body.

She got up, walked over to the window, looked out. No sound of anything to be heard. Black dark night sliced into pieces by the street lights. Even traffic lights were turned off to save energy.

“Endless silence out there”, went it through her mind. Anna smiled and said to herself whispering: “Someone in action. There is always action on earth…and be it in the dreams the many people out there are dreaming. How loud it might be in their dreams, I ask myself. Maybe shouting, screaming and violent actions are there in these thousands of dreams”. Her eyes rested on the bunker on the other side of the road. “Life never stands completely still…is always there; but not always in our senses to hear and understand”, was Anna telling herself. “We humans are forced to live, never asked to be alive or not. In the end, life is not in our hands, only the outcome be it success or failure….or suicide….or death!”

She dressed up, closed the apartment door behind her quietly, crossed the road and looked at the bunker. Anna touched the cold metal of the fence sealing off the entrance. The cold touched her heart deeply. She opened her soul, took a deep breath, closed her eyes, took a second even deeper breath and said:” Hallo, it is me…Anna.”

Endless moments passed, silence everywhere. Peace filled her spirit, her body was warm. As she was about to turn and go back home, Anna thought to hear a voice whispering carefully composed: ”It is me.”

Nervously looked Anna around and saw….nobody appearing.

She closed her eyes again thinking she was in a living dream.

“It is me,” was she opening her eyes again looking at the rusty heavy door of the bunker. Before she finally left the scene was she hearing for a last time: “It is me.”

Anna looked around once more, but only black light to be seen cut into pieces by the street lights.

The train was on time leaving Altona Station. Anna was happy to have acquired one of the few cheap tickets to take her to Sylt, the island in the North Sea facing Denmark, her favorite place to be for the weekend during summer season. There hours ride along farms with cows, horses, raps plats and wheat made her mind forget about problems back home.

Irena had caused her mother sleepless nights again. Monika Willers was anxious about her daughter to get pregnant as teenage girl. She asked herself what on earth would possibly become out of her oldest daughter. Anything in life was of worry to Monika Willers. Something new to her was dangerous, not a chance to see how life could change around and open happiness. Her blood pressure was high of all her negative thoughts about life´s matters. Where others saw an open door, she saw fear that needed to prove itself as not evil by time. Anna had to cope with this behavior in her blood a lifetime making her mind always be aware of the inheritance she carried in her family blood.

…to be continued