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30.05.2019 Opinion

Broken Men Break Women!

...Do Not Neglect Boys Lest They Grow Into Broken Men
By Helena Adutwumwaa Bonto (Mrs.)

I am very sure that if women would have another chance at life each one would wish for a HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, MALE COLLEAGUES, MALE BOSSES, MALE TEACHERS/LECTURERS, etcetera, who would be better in one way or the other.

But have we started training our sons to be better and behave the way we expect our Men to?

As parents, the mandate is on us to train our sons to treat girls well right from the onset.

Tell them that boys do not hit girls no matter how provoked they get. (Responsible men do not even hit anybody at all.)

Teach them to control their emotions, that is, their disappointments, anger, struggles, hurts, and so on.

Teach your sons the differences of the female gender. Teach them to respect and honour females, and when they grow they will not depart from it.

We need to critically educate our sons on the things which perpetuate and heighten violent behaviours towards girls and women.

Such education will help boys become change agents in reducing sexual violence and all forms of abuse against females.

This will guide their behaviour and increase their skills in understanding and appreciating the differences in the opposite gender.

Do not just train your daughter on how to keep herself neat and decent and neglect your son thinking it is not necessary. It is.

I have personally had a male colleague in the past who would sit in his car and drive to work without taking his bath, and this happened several days in each week. Oh Yes! Do not be surprised. And yes, he is well educated and well traveled, a graduate from one of the best traditional universities in the country. He did not care not bathing nor shaving his beard before coming to the office where he would stay 8 hours with co workers, and meet clients. Do you think he would care not bathing before sleeping on same bed with his wife? Imagine the struggle his wife would go through. That alone can bring conflict in their home.

I remember our boss would reprimand him in front of other colleagues, yet he did not change that habit, and he left the company to another.

What am I trying to say?
Boys also need training on how to prepare before going to public places. They also need grooming on personal hygiene, courtesy and basic etiquettes before they grow to become men. It will help in their relations in future be it marital, work, church, or social.

Quite recently, a certain woman was telling me how she told her son's newly wedded wife that she (the newly wedded wife) should teach her newly wedded husband how to clean himself properly after he uses the toilet. Huh! I was in awe of the woman. You that gave birth to him, bread and raised him all these years could not train him on how to cleans himself well after using the toilet but you expect his wife of today to teach him?! How sad!

Truth is, it is nearly impossible to train or change full grown men, their egoistic nature would not even allow them learn to adjust or change. We can only train them and insist they adjust while they are still young and under our control.

It is imperative for us to consciously train our sons as much as we do our daughters because men and women share the same society.

Chimamanda Adichie said, "You can change Women all you want if Men don't change nothing changes because we share the world."

I say that It is dangerous when Boys go wayward but it's even more dangerous when full grown men need repair.

Broken Men break Women!
Untrained, irresponsible, neglected boys grow into broken men who hurt, barter, mishandle, and abuse girls and women.

Let us all strive to nurture boys into responsible, understanding, caring, respectful men so that girls and women would not keep on suffering.

This is a cause we all need to rise and fight from our various homes by nurturing our dear sons, and thereby fighting for a more peaceful, harmonious and functional society and world at large.

Written by: ~Adutwumwaa theboychildadvocate
Helena Adutwumwaa Bonto (Mrs.)
Founder/Executive Director,
[email protected] m

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