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05.05.2019 Opinion

The Cost Of Unfaithful Relationship

By Amadu Hadi

Everyone will like to enjoy the intimacy, romantic and joyful moments with their well scrutinized special partner. They always wish to share their ideas and other issues with them because of the level of closeness, trust, commitment and the love they have for them. It is often said that love without jealous seems not to be true love. Even though jealous in relationship comes in different forms, the most invidious aspect is when one sees his or her partner’s attention being barricaded by a third party. That is if you feel that your partner is cheating on you or hanging out with another person.

Naturally, the emotional feeling in every trusted relationship between two people does not permit interference from outsiders. But what happens to you if you come to the realization that your trusted partner is not being faithful or cheating on you? Well, it actually has a devastating cost in your entire personal life.

One of the biggest costs of cheating in a relationship is not the devastation it causes to the relationship; sometimes it's the loss of trust in you as a good person that is the biggest cost of all. The truth is, the closest relationship you will ever have, is the relationship you have with yourself.

When your sense of self is shattered, the effects are far-reaching and can affect every aspect of your life. The choice to cheat can affect everything!

Being cheated on is one of the most damaging things a person can ever experience. It can feel like an all-out attack on your softest, most vulnerable spots.

In other words, it can rock your world to the core and make you feel like you’re down for the count. But you don’t have to stay down. You don’t have to let your partner’s betrayal define you or keep you miserable for long.

Being in an unfaithful relationship where your partner cheats on you and as a result, the relationship collapses, the under listed cost may be incurred.

Emotional cost; emotionally people who cheat and or are cheated on feel very worry and mentally disorganized. They feel the pain of betrayal and sometimes act abnormally to console themselves. The most important factor in any relationship is how the partners are emotionally connected. Partners will always want to see or talk to each other whenever they are not in good modes. But imagine if you are in a relationship with an unfaithful partner, all your emotional needs cannot be met since the person’s actions may hurt you and that would have cost you more.

When it comes down to it the true cost of cheating in a relationship is the trust you lose for yourself. That trust can erode every aspect of your life and infect your current and future relationships. When you get right down to it, it's better to avoid cheating, and if someone ever cheats on you remember that it doesn't have to destroy everything if both partners are willing to do the work necessary to improve themselves and the relationship.

Guilt & depression cost; all parties involved in the affair, even the victims, can suffer from overwhelming guilt and depression that requires professional help. Usually, everyone feels as if the rug has been pulled out from under them and everything they thought was up is now down. This can catapult anyone into a deep depression . Feelings of guilt can cause depression , as can anger. Sometimes it can take years to overcome. Some people never get over it. The affected persons sometimes end up in unusual activities such as smoking, drinking, abandon job etc. professional counsellor is needed at this point to save the affected person’s life which also comes with a cost.

Trust cost: Both the victim of unfaithfulness and the doer will experience a profound loss of trust. The betrayed partner will have a hard time learning to trust their partners again. The cheater will feel as if they cannot trust anyone since they can no longer even trust themselves. Many times the person who cheats has an even harder time learning to trust themselves or others again even though they are the one who cheated.

Part of this has to do with the nature of trust. We trust people based on how trustworthy we are, more than on how much they deserve the trust. When we do something that is outside of our character it's hard to imagine that everyone is not out there doing it. Losing trust as a result of your partner cheating or betraying you has a long lasting effect on your future relationship and even in your marriage. You may not trust anyone including your wife or husband even if the person faithful to you.

Financial or monetary cost: every relationship comes with a monetary cost no matter how stingy you are. Love, many say it doesn’t depend on money but nowadays love without money is always in limbo. In fact one out ten relationships can sustain without money being an influential factor. Right from day one of a relationship, money also starts to be spent. Sometimes because of one’s emotional and trust entrusted into their partners, spending is either done consciously or unconsciously. Starting from buying them food, airtime, clothing, sending them for shopping which may graduate to buying cars, houses and other expensive materials for their partners.

As others will spend little cedis in their relationship, others may be spending millions of cedis and even dollars depending on the duration of your relationship. Imagine all this cost is uncured on unfaithful partner. That is wrong investment right? Now if you realized that your relationship was not sustainable because of unfaithfulness, just do a ‘post dating cost analysis’ and you will be surprised to realize that your money could have built you a nice house, car or something better.

Many times an affair can have ripple effects on the rest of your life. You find it hard to be around the same friends, or at the same job. Due to that, you might feel off balance and out of control and sometimes make bad choices on top of bad choices.

When it comes down to it the true cost of cheating in a relationship is the trust you lose for yourself. That trust can erode every aspect of your life and infect your current and future relationships. When you get right down to it, it's better to avoid cheating, and if someone ever cheats on you remember that it doesn't have to destroy everything if both partners are willing to do the work necessary to improve themselves and the relationship.

Author’s bio….
Amadu Hadi (geography lawyer) is a first aide counselor, aspiring public speaker, freelance writer and motivational speaker.

Email: [email protected]
©2019

Disclaimer: "The views/contents expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author(s) and do not neccessarily reflect those of Modern Ghana. Modern Ghana will not be responsible or liable for any inaccurate or incorrect statements contained in this article."

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