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Opinion | Feb 19, 2019

Could Marriage Make Or Unmake You?

Could Marriage Make  Or Unmake You?

I was quite young when I first heard this maxim from a motivational speaker on radio

And he said ' Marriage could make or mar you'.

I thought then the words were profound, and this thought was with me for a while.

I see people today interpret this thought with respect to who they finally decide on as life partners. Many who hold this belief are made to think that what you would become in life may largely depend on the partner you choose for life.

But the real truth is that what one would become in life; especially for a man; may depend on many other factors in life than who a man finally chooses for a wife.

For instance, a man's future would today be largely dependent on his educational background; the family he comes from; his resourcefulness and his ambitions.

A man who has these could marry anybody: even the laziest or the most uncooperative wife companion, he would still make it.

That was why in the past successful men only went for beautiful women they could flaunt about; they didn't need a woman to come and help them to achieve anything.

And so there isn't any real truth with this belief that a man's future would necessarily be influenced by the woman he associates with.

There are many very successful men in the world who have failed in their domestic relationship.

I think this false belief about choosing the right female partner in order for a man to be successful is largely due to the changing perception of a man's responsibility in the family.

It does look like men themselves have accepted that they can't run their families without significant support of their female partners.

I think this perception that the modern man holds has robbed him off the drive to work hard to fend for his family.

I think this maxim has caused damage to the modern man. If there is anything good in this maxim, it might only apply to the feminine.

For the woman, this maxim can be a guiding post in choosing a life partner. Originally, a feminine does not need to struggle much to enjoy the best of life.

All it took for a SMART woman to enjoy the best of life, was to identify the man who had prospects in life to get married to. And so, women in the past married into good families, nobility or to men they saw had exceptional qualities that would propel them to greatness.

In this case, a woman's wise decision on who to marry can change his life and the life of her entire family.

And so I say that whilst the maxim ' Marriage could make or unmake you' could largely apply to the future fortunes of the feminine, a man who sticks to it may lose all there are to do to be successful in life.

A man who is poised for success would only need a woman who is pleasant to live with; a woman who would be his cheerleader; a woman who would drive his sexual desires; and lastly a woman who would give him an additional reason to succeed.

But it is only when the man himself has it to succeed that these elements can be of any influence to get the man to succeed.

Football teams don't succeed just because they get the loudest cheers; well-prepared teams could win over their opponent if they get the least cheers.

A man should never look back in life and say with regret that it was the woman he married that spoiled his chances to succeed.

An experienced driver could still deliver his passengers to their destination even with the most uncooperative mate.

A man's best chance to succeed in life does not dwell in his wife.

Paul Zowonu
Accra.
#talkingblues
16/02/19: 13:09

Paul Zowonu
Paul Zowonu, © 2019

This author has authored 51 publications on Modern Ghana.
Author column: PaulZowonu

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